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Monday, December 09, 2019 {{ new Date().getDay() }}

Reprinted with permission from Breaking Burgh.

(Bowling Green, KY) In a cruel twist of fate, a former resident of Bowling Green, KY – who survived the horrific attack that tore that city apart earlier this month – has tragically died under similar circumstances in Sweden.

Jason Vargus was playing Pokémon Go when he narrowly escaped death during the Bowling Green Massacre, during which scores of immigrant terrorists – who had arrived there due to the absence of appropriate travel bans – machine-gunned large segments of the population to death.

After surviving Bowling Green by playing dead for ten hours amidst the corpses, the young man felt so blessed to have a new lease on life that he vowed to live it to the fullest by seeing the world.

Unfortunately, that fateful desire took him to Sweden, where he would pay with his life in another terrible attack on February 17.

His family ask that people leave them alone at this time to grieve for Jason, unless they have any concrete details about the attack which are proving very hard to come by.

IMAGE: Breaking Burgh

Triumph, the Insult Comic Dog

What makes Trump supporters so loyal to a president who is wrecking the country and the world is one of the great mysteries of our time. And the latest political scientist to ponder this problem is Triumph, the Insult Comic Dog, whose obscene, cigar-chomping wisecracks you may recall from his many appearances on Saturday Night Live.

Now working as a "correspondent" for Stephen Colbert's Late Show, Triumph recently convened a focus group of real live Trump supporters to discuss current issues, such as the dismantling of Confederate statues and unemployment. The group watched some fictional Trump-Pence campaign ads to gauge their reaction to potentially extreme proposals by their idol.

Even Triumph, who always presumes human stupidity, was exasperated by their answers.

It's uproariously funny, the way only a gang of mindless Trumpists can be.