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In recent days, a rapidly growing number of Republicans have called on Mitt Romney to cast off the veil of secrecy, and finally release his tax returns. However, a few loyal party members have steadfastly stood by his side, and insisted Romney need not release them.

Here are the six lamest excuses that have been made on Romney’s behalf:

People Won’t Understand Them

Mike Huckabee doesn’t think there’s any point in Romney releasing his tax returns:

“Most Americans don’t understand their own tax returns. Do we really think they’ll understand Mitt Romney’s? (…) Why do we think people will read some huge tax return and get something good out of it?”

Hasn’t He Already Done It?

Apparently, GOP Rep. Jason Chaffetz of Utah lives in a world where releasing one year of tax returns is equivalent to having released your tax returns. “I think he has released them,” was his defense.

The Obama Campaign Is Insatiable

Henry Barbour, a Republican National Committeeman from Mississippi, says it will never be enough:

“Romney will never satisfy the Obama campaign,” said Barbour. “No matter what he does, it won’t be enough and their demands won’t stop until after November 6.” Then, in typical fashion, Barbour changed the subject: “Why doesn’t Obama release all the ‘Fast and Furious’ documents?”

Romney Donated Money To The Mormon Church

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Texas Senator Kay Bailey Hutchison thinks Romney’s contributions to the Mormon church should excuse him from having to release his tax returns.

Chris Jansing confronted Hutchison with her own record of transparency, and asked if Mitt Romney should be held to the same standard: “In 2010, you ran for governor – you released 8 years of tax returns. Should Mitt Romney release more than just two years?”

Hutchinson’s response: “I don’t think so. You saw what happened when he put his tax returns out there. People started parsing what he did and how much tax he paid, and he paid a lot. If you take his charitable contributions and his taxes, it is way more than what most people pay in taxes—surely more than 40%.”

It’s Eric Holder’s Fault, Somehow

When you don’t have good explanations, simply change the subject. That is how Sen. Mitch McConnell (R-Ky) does it:

“I wish the president would let us know what he knew about Fast and Furious. He’s in office. That’s directly related to his reelection, his performance. Those are the types of disclosure issues that the American people are really interested in.  The campaign can speak for itself on its strategy,” said McConnell.

The Obama Campaign Would Have A Field Day

Mitt Romney, in an interview with conservative news outlet National Review Online:

“In the political environment that exists today, the opposition research of the Obama campaign is looking for anything they can use to distract from the failure of the president to reignite our economy,” he said.

And he added: “And I’m simply not enthusiastic about giving them hundreds or thousands of more pages to pick through, distort, and lie about.”

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Danziger Draws

Jeff Danziger lives in New York City. He is represented by CWS Syndicate and the Washington Post Writers Group. He is the recipient of the Herblock Prize and the Thomas Nast (Landau) Prize. He served in the US Army in Vietnam and was awarded the Bronze Star and the Air Medal. He has published eleven books of cartoons, a novel, and a memoir.

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