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This Week In Crazy: Driverless Cars Were Invented to Kill Conservatives

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This Week In Crazy: Driverless Cars Were Invented to Kill Conservatives

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Driverless cars may not be for you if you have a conservative bumper sticker and don’t wish to be driven off the road by a malevolent computer programmed by spiteful liberals. Welcome to “This Week In Crazy,” The National Memo’s weekly update on the loony, bigoted, and hateful behavior of the increasingly unhinged right wing. Starting with number five:

5. Pat Buchanan

Erstwhile conservative presidential candidate Pat Buchanan is, at least, being as honest and up front as he physically can be when he calls Donald Trump “The Great White Hope.”

In his syndicated column published May 26, Buchanan writes that Trump is the panacea for all of the country’s ills, among which he counts the emphasis on “diversity,” affirmative action, the disparaging way white working-class males are portrayed in Hollywood films, and the fact that we teach schoolchildren about how this nation was “discovered” by people who occasionally practiced slavery and genocide.

In other words, the demonization of white men is the root of all of our problems, and it has utterly corroded our nation’s most pure soul. To bolster his point, Buchanan notes (correctly, I’m afraid) that “Lincoln and every president had been a white male.” Until Obama, of course. Check mate, liberals.

He concludes:

“Angry white male” is now an acceptable slur in culture and politics. So it is that people of that derided ethnicity, race, and gender see in Donald Trump someone who unapologetically berates and mocks the elites who have dispossessed them, and who despise them.

Is it any surprise that militant anti-government groups attract white males? Is it so surprising that the Donald today, like Jess Willardcentury ago, is seen by millions as “The Great White Hope”?

Next: Rush Limbaugh

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Sam Reisman

Sam Reisman is the former managing editor at The National Memo, where he still writes the weekly "This Week In Crazy" column. His writing has appeared in Flavorpill, The Huffington Post, Columbia Daily Spectator, and Bwog. He was the publisher of the 2010 edition of Inside New York, an annual guidebook to the city for students and young professionals.

Since 2011, he has co-curated and hosted Peculiar Streams, a showcase for NYC-based writers, musicians, comedians, and filmmakers. He is a staff writer at Mediaite, and blogs at SamReisman.com.

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86 Comments

  1. The_Magic_M June 2, 2016

    > “The Gay Gestapo is on a mission from the Dark Lord,”

    What is this, “Star Wars Episode VI: The Return of the Nazis”?

    Reply
  2. TZToronto June 3, 2016

    Wow! I thought the US had a secret ballot. Apparently not if the programmers for the self-driving car can add a line of code that recognizes how you voted in the last election. I can understand how a fingerprint scan could be used to identify where you lived during the previous election and, based on whether a majority of liberal or conservative candidates won in that election, label you a liberal (no crash) or conservative (yes crash). However, that would mean that a lot of liberals would be incorrectly targeted for fatal car crashes, and a lot of conservatives would be let off the hook. Dumb, just plain dumb–and people listen to this jerk?! And would there be another line of code to determine just how liberal or conservative you are–socially liberal but fiscally conservative, or vice versa?

    Reply
    1. The_Magic_M June 3, 2016

      Big data. It’s more like “people who drove left at this junction while listening to Rush on the radio also voted for Trump”. 😉

      1. Beethoven June 3, 2016

        You made a mistake. People who listen to Rush on the radio and would vote for Trump would never drive left, only right.

    2. dpaano June 3, 2016

      Don’t give those evil liberal car manufacturers any additional ideas!!! You KNOW how they work! LOL!!!

      1. The_Magic_M June 3, 2016

        RW tweets advising Donald Trump to avoid using any kind of transportation in 3… 2… 😉

    3. idamag June 3, 2016

      Like many backward states, my state has a closed primary. In order to vote for most seats, you have to register with a party. At our last primary, I was allowed to vote for one judgeship. I refuse to belong to a party because I agree with the Founding Fathers on that

  3. plc97477 June 3, 2016

    Has anyone looked into the possibility that limbaugh could be the missing link? No I guess not, in order for that to work he would have to be a step above the apes.

    Reply
    1. dpaano June 3, 2016

      Let’s not be unfair to the apes, okay? Gorillas are pretty smart, unlike most of these individuals!

    2. Sand_Cat June 4, 2016

      Naw, he’s a dead-end branch headed for extinction.

  4. Grannysmovin June 3, 2016

    There is no limit to batsh*t crazy in the Republican party.

    Reply
  5. meridaest June 3, 2016

    I love the self driving car plan. What a great idea! However, the code would need an override for family and loved ones.

    Reply
  6. bobnstuff June 3, 2016

    Not advertising with Rush is not a new thing. Before he became the voice of the crazy right he was a shock jock in Pittsburgh before he found his calling. Back then I bought a lot of air time but never Rush, I didn’t like him anymore back then then I do now. He was on WIXZ and KQV radio. He wasn’t using Rush back then.

    Reply
  7. Eleanore Whitaker June 3, 2016

    Driverless cars invented to kill CONs? If only. Most Americans are fed up with Conservatives. Now their cute little game is take even more than they are already receiving in federal tax dollars. They get back much more for the $1 they pay in federal taxes in ROI. Now, they are whining in the Corn Pone and Mutton Chops states like KS, IA, OK, TX, WVA and MI that they are running out of money to keep schools and hospitals open? Really? How does that work when they get from $1.35 to $1.87 for the $1 they pay in federal taxes?

    This is just one example of how these states fleece the rest of the states. This doesn’t begun to factor in the cost of cleaning up pollution from their polluter industries or helping them pay pollution fines.

    Reply
    1. The_Magic_M June 3, 2016

      > Driverless cars invented to kill CONs? If only.

      RWNJ’s aren’t even inventive in their conspiracy theories.
      If ebil libruls actually wanted to do something like that, they’d have cars go “vote for Hillary in November or your next ride after that will be your last”, combined with a lie detector to ask the driver who he voted for after the election. 😉

      1. Eleanore Whitaker June 3, 2016

        I call this generation of nuts the Star Wars Generation since most of them cut their teeth on Wookies, R2D2, Jaba the Hut and Laser gun wars. These are the freaks who believe they are the FORCE that is with the rest of us.

        How many Boomers do you know who will be led around by the nose by a 20, 30, 40 or 50 something who is too stupid and politically naive to see what Trump, McConnell, Ryan, Gowdy, Cotton, Issa and Cornyn are up to?

        There may be some Boomers who will obey their “youngers.” I am NOT one of them. They know where they can stow that FORCE they think they have.

        1. dpaano June 3, 2016

          The older “white males” tend to believe anything they are told by the conservatives….not sure why, but at 70 years old, I’m definitely NOT one of them (besides being female)!!!

          1. Jmz Nesky June 10, 2016

            Here’s your reason:

          2. dpaano June 10, 2016

            Actually, that’s kinda true. Since I’m still working full time, making a decent salary, and I start collecting my Social Security this month, I’m rolling in money and AM worrying about my tax rate. Fortunately, I have a good financial advisor….I’m putting my SS money into my 401(k) here at work and letting my employer (one of the few that still do this) match my contribution. I don’t plan on having to have someone be responsible for me when I retire…I plan on saving as much as I can so I can pay my own way. I hope never to need food stamps or welfare in any form. In the meantime, I’ll still pay gasoline taxes, sales taxes, SS taxes, federal taxes, state taxes, and all the other taxes that you pay as an American, especially one who is still working for a living.

          3. Jmz Nesky June 10, 2016

            Well that’s fine investing and placing your social security into more investments is formidable but your overlooking those who work who won’t have that type of opportunity when social security becomes privatized and placed into the hands of the same sharks who destroyed us 401k investors just a few short years ago. These Americans won’t have the same opportunities that you and I have enjoyed and for those who lived paycheck to paycheck without any extras to lay away for their older years, when their time comes there won’t be anyone to shed a tear for them and they will be the ones forced to live off welfare and food stamps, not because they were frivolous in their budget but because their budget only allowed for their needs. But I guess that shouldn’t concern those who have had the benefit of enjoying the social programs that have saved many Americans up to the time the reps take control and eliminate for privatization. It’s not my nor your problem at our ages but it certainly will be for other’s sons and daughters.

          4. dpaano June 13, 2016

            I agree…I’ve never been a fan of privatization of any of these programs! Every time something gets privatized (like the prisons), it gets screwed up and everyone ends up paying through the nose for it! I have great concern for those seniors who didn’t take advantage or didn’t have the availability of 401(k) plans, etc. The problem now is that many of the younger generation are not saving anything towards their retirement….they seem to think that something will come along and save them or that they won’t need it. Little do they know that it is imperative to save now while you’re young!!! I remember being told that in order to retire, you need to have a 3-legged stool…..one leg for Social Security, one leg for a possible pension, and a third leg for personal savings. It certainly resonated with me when I was in my early 30’s, and I’ve tried to stick with it whenever I can. I’m just extremely lucky that I work for a company that is privately owned by a German family who are very pro-employee!! The Germans really CARE about their employees, and that’s a good thing.

          5. Jmz Nesky June 14, 2016

            Well it’s either that or they no longer trust in capitalism especially the investors who handle other peoples money.. They were aware of the earlier 401K farce and possibly they don’t want to take a chance and I really don’t blame them as I too lost a substantial amount of my savings in that scam but I’m with you that they should be considering their financial future and there are reputable employers out there who will treat them as yours do you. Also they shouldn’t assume the g’ment will care for them. Not only is welfare for the truly needy, it can also sink you into a depressed mood by barely making it day by day. I hate the fraud that these programs have created but in almost all things there is an element of fraud and in my mind it mostly happens because there’s no real monitoring of what these people do with it once they begin receiving it.. The g’ments emphasis is on the care ad well being of a child but gives no emphasis on fraud.

        2. Dominick Vila June 3, 2016

          I don’t now about that Eleanore. Star Wars may be too deep for some of them. This is the Dave & Buster crowd that spends most of its time playing Mario, hoping that some day they may graduate to Halo.

      2. dpaano June 3, 2016

        And my question is….how in heck will a car be able to get your fingerprints and since when do fingerprints have anything to do with how you vote? Conspiracy theories abound in the conservative world!!! It’s all they have, but unfortunately, most of their followers believe every word they hear….again, it’s Stockholm Syndrome in my book! Brainwashing on steroids!

        1. The_Magic_M June 3, 2016

          > how in heck will a car be able to get your fingerprints

          That’s actually a part that’s possible – even your phone can get your fingerprints these days. Mandating a finger print scan to start the engine is not that far off kilter.

          > since when do fingerprints have anything to do with how you vote?

          The real WTF is “since when does anybody record how an individual votes?”. But hey, it’s not like facts even remotely matter to a RW’er. 😉
          Au contraire, the farther your screed is from reality, the more credibility it gets.

          1. JPHALL June 3, 2016

            Actually your prints could lead to your voting record. In California you can look up, on the internet, someone’s political party registration with their name and address. A print right now could get you that info from the DMV.

          2. Joan June 11, 2016

            Voting records are by law, private.

          3. JPHALL June 12, 2016

            BUT YOUR PARTY REGISTRATION IS NOT. Different states, different laws about access.
            Subject: Re: Comment on This Week In Crazy: Driverless Cars Were Invented to Kill Conservatives

          4. dpaano June 13, 2016

            Scary!!!

          5. dpaano June 10, 2016

            You got a point there….I don’t think my fingerprint would be able to tell anyone how my brain functions and how I voted.

        2. Jmz Nesky June 10, 2016

          Ah, they really don’t believe it.. They just accept it because it didn’t come from a democrat.

    2. charleo1 June 3, 2016

      The State of Mississippi actually receives nearly $4.00 for every $1.00 contributed to the treasury of the Federal Gov. If you read more of the comments on this board, like those of “Independent 1,” who has been writing extensively on this subject for years. You would know your numbers are low for all of the States you mentioned.

    3. Dominick Vila June 3, 2016

      In addition to being dependent on welfare, re-districting in some “conservative” Southern states resulted in a return to segregated schools. The only positive thing I can think of about this tragic turn of events, is that students in some Black schools are scoring higher in testing, and have a higher graduation rate than their white peers.

    4. David June 3, 2016

      Eleanore!!! Really? What is your authority for saying what “most Americans” believe? Are you lying again?

      1. highpckts June 3, 2016

        Well she probably meant most sane Americans! Obviously that leaves you out!

        1. David June 3, 2016

          And, just like her, you can’t provide any authority to support your bleat. Google it and come back. Otherwise, you are a proven DS. Have a blessed day!

          1. highpckts June 4, 2016

            I think Eleanor laid it out for you already! All you have to do double check the facts! But I’m guessing that’s harder than bad
            Mouthing someone obviously smarter than you!

          2. David June 5, 2016

            Can’t provide an answer, DA?

          3. Sand_Cat June 4, 2016

            So “bleat” is your new word? What happened to “Muslimes” and “libtards”?

          4. David June 5, 2016

            Oh, they are still in my vocabulary. You do understand that, don’t you?

      2. Sand_Cat June 4, 2016

        Don’t worry; your record in the lying area is in no danger.

        1. David June 5, 2016

          Really? Cite one. Betcha can’t!!

      3. Aaron_of_Portsmouth June 18, 2016

        David, it’s obvious to all that you’re a very frustrated little man whose heart and mind have dried up based on your bad manners. Your comments are useless, and you never offer one iota of anything that even hints at being enlightened.

        Just saying that you believe in Jesus is insufficient when you can’t back it up with an upbeat and positive attitude—such a lack of positive feelings in a sure sign of a LACK of virtues.

        The highlight of your day is to get up, have a snack, log onto the computer, and hurl insults. Then you may watch a little TV, have a beer perhaps, and retire to bed. Now that’s what we call a lonesome existence.

        Is there a chance you can escape the vicious cycle you’re in? It all depends on your motivation which is missing so far.

        “O Son of Being! Bring thyself to account each day ere thou are summoned to a reckoning, for death unheralded shall come upon thee, and thou shalt be called to give account for thy deeds.”

        1. David June 18, 2016

          You know you have won the argument when your opponent fails to raise a cogent response and, instead, resorts to personal attack. Can provide no counter to the points I have made? I am not surprised. You, of course, know nothing about me. Safe behind the anonymity of your keyboard, you can say these things without having to meet me face to face. Enjoy your existence.

  8. FireBaron June 3, 2016

    So, Larry Pratt has officially “incited to rebellion”. Time for him to be brought to an undisclosed location and subjected to enhanced interrogation techniques to find out where his cronies are hiding. Given his moral fiber, I expect him to hold out for 34.7 seconds before he folds.
    Rush Limbaugh (our resident “missing link”) apparently slept through his entire High School Biology class. The old “man is descended from apes” has not been taught since the 1880s. I am sure that even the school system of St. Rose, Missouri in the 1960s and 70s had text books updated past that point. Then again maybe not, given his demonstrated ignorance regarding simple concepts.
    Self-driving cars. Oh, man, if only they actually worked that way. Just think of the progress we could make as a country without people wishing we went back to the “Leave it to Beaver”, “Father Knows Best” and “Adventures of Ozzie and Harriet” America that never existed!
    Roy Moore. The Conservative Judiciary version of the cockroach. No matter what they do to him, he keeps coming back. Then again, I am probably insulting cockroaches in this comparison.
    And finally – Pat Buchanan. I guess he is still reeling from his attempted usurpation of H. Ross Perot’s “Reform Party”. Between him and Ralph Nader and their foray into 3rd Party Politics in the 2000 election, the two of them are guilty of foisting the dumbest Presidential Candidate (at least before 2016) the Republican Party had produced since Warren Harding on the rest of the country. I think it’s time for he and Ann Coulter to share their meds and quietly go off to some island where they can make all the rules.

    Reply
  9. The_Magic_M June 3, 2016

    > We are asking the federal court to strike down the automatic removal provision in the Alabama State Constitution

    Lemme get this straight:
    Ultra-conservative nutjob Roy Moore wants ebil *federal* courts to unilaterally void provisions of a *state* Constitution?

    Now even if that should be legally possible (I was of the opinion only SCOTUS could find a state constitution in conflict with the US Constitution), it would be quite intellectually dishonest to use that “evil” approach for his personal gain.

    Reply
    1. dpaano June 3, 2016

      Yet, he does it…..what law school did this nutcase go to? Apparently, he didn’t learn much about federal law vs. state law, etc.

      1. The_Magic_M June 3, 2016

        As always, observe what RW’s are accusing liberals of doing, and you see their own actions, observe what RW’s are accusing liberals of planning, and you see their own goals.
        Here: “Judicial activism is fine (as long as it’s a pro-RW case).” 🙂

      2. David June 3, 2016

        Maybe he went to the law school you went to?

        1. Sand_Cat June 4, 2016

          Sounds more like yours.

          1. David June 5, 2016

            You wouldn’t have the slightest idea.

          2. Sand_Cat June 6, 2016

            You’re right. I can only judge you by the stupid, hypocritical, nasty, and petty crap you post here. Someone – I can’t remember who – said “by their fruits you shall know them.”
            As far as whatever school you went to, Ted Cruz is living proof that morons can get into even Harvard Law.

          3. David June 6, 2016

            And you have to live with the fact that I have a doctorate and you demonstrate the cogency of a high school graduate. Also, try to learn something about Christianity. Have a blessed day!

          4. Aaron_of_Portsmouth June 17, 2016

            It’s quite obvious that you have a lot to learn about Christianity and its deeper implications. Skimming the surface of what you purport to believe in doesn’t cut it. Your lack of cogency is evident in the thoughts you express—what a waste of an on-line doctorate.

            By the way, have a blessed day—whatever that implies in your case.

          5. David June 17, 2016

            Please enjoy the existence you call a life. Pathetic…

      3. plc97477 June 4, 2016

        Maybe it was trump U.

  10. dpaano June 3, 2016

    I swear, these people get crazier every week and there’s no let up!! Where in heck do they get these harebrained ideas? As for the driverless car killing conservatives….if I thought they would actually do this, I would buy a couple immediately and put them out on the 405 freeway here in California!!! I mean, seriously….how ridiculous does this sound???

    Reply
    1. The_Magic_M June 3, 2016

      > Where in heck do they get these harebrained ideas?

      Easy. They start off with “If I were in control, I’d have cars reprogrammed to kill their liberal drivers” – and then turn that around in a classic case of projection.

      1. Siegfried Heydrich June 3, 2016

        But they all seem to be suffering from severe cases of premature projection, which is one of the leading causes of electile dysfunction . . .

    2. Elliot J. Stamler June 3, 2016

      Ha ha…I stepped on your excellent line when I just posted my comment.

  11. Blueberry Hill June 3, 2016

    I wonder if there is a case of Mass Dementia going on with these morons? Certainly seems that way.

    ..

    Reply
  12. Beethoven June 3, 2016

    Actually, Pat Buchanan was almost right. Maybe he really meant to say, “Trump is the Pandora for all of the country’s ills.” Rush Limbaugh is confused about evolution: The scientific explanation is really that the human species, as well as the gorilla species, evolved from an earlier, ape-like species. But the Rush Limbaugh species descended, instead of evolved, from an ape-like species. I see that quite a few other commenters, like me, wish that Brent Smith’s “idle paranoid fantasy” could actually become true. If Larry Pratt decides to take to the bullet box, I won’t be voting in that election; I’ll simply get out of the way and let the police and the military cast my votes for me. As for Roy Moore, apparently he has forgotten that when he took the office of Chief Justice he swore to God, on a Bible, that he would uphold the Constitution and Laws of the United States of America. Apparently he doesn’t take that oath to God seriously.

    Reply
  13. Elliot J. Stamler June 3, 2016

    l. If driverless cars can be used to kill conservatives I’m gonna buy one.
    2. Limbaugh says, with characteristic college-dropout stupidity, that we college-educated evolutionists claim all people were once apes. No we don’t…but we do claim the Limbaugh family were all apes and probably still are (Rush as well as his 100% fascist brother, David.)

    Reply
    1. dpaano June 6, 2016

      Let’s not malign the apes here!!!

  14. fortunev June 3, 2016

    How can any person in their right mind take any of these idiots seriously? The US is the land of STUPID.

    Reply
    1. dpaano June 6, 2016

      Well, not all of us are stupid….there are a few that are intelligent, aware, and have some common sense, unlike most Republicans lately!

  15. Sand_Cat June 4, 2016

    Could it be that programmers and other bright people are all liberals because today’s “conservatives” are so rigid, willfully ignorant, and resistant to change that they just can’t make it in that world?
    Obviously this clown never thought about the implications of his assumption that all the people designing the systems and writing the code are liberals, i.e., that smart people are liberals?
    And of course, he projects the violent and hate-filled right’s malice and vengefullness on their political opponents.

    Reply
    1. David June 5, 2016

      You have outdone yourself with this latest bleat of idiocy.

      1. Sand_Cat June 6, 2016

        It’s obvious you, too think most smart people are liberals (you’re right); otherwise, you wouldn’t see fit to dispute those pointing out the idiocy of Mr. Smith’s contention.
        Bleating? I’m laughing at morons like Smith and you. I know it’s hard for you to read and understand, but you’ve obviously missed the boat. It’s you making the piteous, bleating attempts to defend foolishness and stupidity, not me.
        Have a blessed day, hypocrite.:>)

      2. Aaron_of_Portsmouth June 17, 2016

        No, David, it’s you who has been outdone, by yourself no less, by using your keyboard irresponsibly. Try some exercises in deep thinking for a change—your brain will appreciate the much-needed exercise.

  16. turtlewoman1039 June 10, 2016

    I believe that I’ll get a bumper sticker printed:
    ‘My dog is smarter than any of your republicans’

    Reply
    1. plc97477 June 10, 2016

      I would buy that.

  17. Joan June 10, 2016

    So, let me get this straight, Conservatives wrapped in the American flag and clutching a copy of the Constitution are seeking to violate the Constitution by denying constitutional provisions and fermenting armed insurrections? Do these people even listen to the idiocy that comes out of their mouths? The projection is so transparent it is farcical. The stupid is strong in Merica. Are we SURE it is not time for some successions? Can the sane states sucede from the inane states, like Al., OK., NC?

    Reply
    1. dpaano June 10, 2016

      You forgot to add Texas, Louisiana, Georgia, and maybe Arizona!

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