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This Week In Crazy: Special Marriage Equality Insanity Edition

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This Week In Crazy: Special Marriage Equality Insanity Edition

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antigay protestor

When five Justices legalized same-sex marriage nationwide last Friday, they released a torrent of unhinged rage from the conservative right wing. For those who appreciate such demented howling from the fire-and-brimstone crowd, this week has just been a buffet of ire, bigotry, unreason, and insanity.

Where to even begin? There’s the Indiana woman who had an apoplectic meltdown, shrieking and yowling, blaming “Islaaaaaaaamic extremlists [sic]” like Obama. There’s the Texas pastor who threatened to set himself on fire if same-sex marriage became legal (and when asked to put up or shut up, he clarified that he was speaking metaphorically). American Family Association’s’ own Bryan Fischer took to Twitter to say “6/26 is now our 9/11” because June 26 was “the day the twin towers of truth and righteousness were blown up by moral jihadists.”  There’s this Breitbart hack who thinks the “Gaystapo” is going to destroy churches now. Then there’s the constellation of GOP presidential candidates — who are either pandering to the worst elements of their base since none of them can support the ruling and make it through the primary alive, or they’re actually intending to wage a holy war over this.

It’s been an embarrassment of riches (and embarrassment), but we’ve narrowed it down to the five most disturbed, outlandish reactions to the SCOTUS ruling. Love may have won, but some minds certainly got lost. Welcome to “This Week In Crazy,” The National Memo’s weekly update on the wildest attacks, conspiracy theories, and other loony behavior from the increasingly unhinged right wing — It’s a special same-sex marriage edition. Starting with number five:

5.Tim Brooks

thumbArkansas pastor Tim Brooks has distinguished himself from the rest of this cavalcade of kook by insisting that the SCOTUS ruling has empowered gays to force straight people to “come out and have sex with us.”

Speaking on the Wallbuilders radio program Monday, Brooks asserted that the only logical endgame for the “homosexual agenda” is forced participation. Nothing else will sate the mad, frenzied lust of the dreaded gays — not equal rights, not equal treatment in the eyes of the law, not non-discriminatory legislation — only the mass indoctrination of the straight community to compulsory carnal knowledge of the same sex.

“Here is the only thing that will satisfy this agenda, and it’s very clear,” Brooks wailed. “Participation. ‘We want you to come out of your house and participate with us.'”

Right Wing Watch has the audio here.

[soundcloud url=”https://api.soundcloud.com/tracks/212517118″ params=”color=ff0000″ width=”100%” height=”166″ iframe=”true” /]

Via Daily Kos and Right Wing Watch

Next: Tom DeLay 

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Sam Reisman

Sam Reisman is the former managing editor at The National Memo, where he still writes the weekly "This Week In Crazy" column. His writing has appeared in Flavorpill, The Huffington Post, Columbia Daily Spectator, and Bwog. He was the publisher of the 2010 edition of Inside New York, an annual guidebook to the city for students and young professionals.

Since 2011, he has co-curated and hosted Peculiar Streams, a showcase for NYC-based writers, musicians, comedians, and filmmakers. He is a staff writer at Mediaite, and blogs at SamReisman.com.

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67 Comments

  1. The_Magic_M July 3, 2015

    > “secret memo” making the rounds at the Justice Department,

    This sounds exactly like the beginning of every “Sorcha Faal” wingnuttery peddled over at the racist “EU Times” website.
    It’s always “according to a (secret|classified) (memo|report) making the rounds (in the Kremlin|at the DOJ|in intelligence circles), …”.

    Reply
    1. Joan July 4, 2015

      If it is such a secret, how did a disgraced former GOP Speaker become privy to it? I would have thought that Tom would have learned all about perversions in jail.

      Reply
      1. Sand_Cat July 5, 2015

        Not so much as he undoubtedly deserves to.

        Reply
  2. ayungclas July 3, 2015

    Tom DeLay: tell us what those other 9 perversions are so we can try them out. They have to be more interesting than listening to a Rafael Jr. speech.

    Reply
  3. TZToronto July 3, 2015

    Let’s see . . . There are only seven deadly sins–wrath, greed, sloth, pride, lust, envy, and gluttony. What are the twelve “new” perversions? Are these actually new (i.e., invented by the Justice Department), or are they actually old but DeLay just found out about them? If they’re really new, why is the Justice Department keeping them secret? Will practicing these perversions become criminal, or are they just activities about which we’ll all be able to say, “Tsk, tsk?” If DeLay has a list, perhaps he should publish it so we can either avoid these behaviors or participate in some of them. While some would be abhorrent (like bestiality and having sex with little boys), others might be less so, like putting the trash out on the wrong day or failing to change the oil in your car.

    Reply
    1. Carolyn1520 July 3, 2015

      I think eating kale chips is one of them for the right and now we’ve hijacked cauliflower and done the same thing to it.
      Oh and there’s a new law that trans fats have to be removed within 3 years.

      Reply
      1. TZToronto July 4, 2015

        Paying union dues, recycling, having your catalytic converter serviced,, and using an electric lawnmower come right after supporting Amnesty International and the ACLU.

        Reply
        1. Carolyn1520 July 4, 2015

          The winner. I think you nailed it. 🙂

          Reply
  4. greenlantern1 July 3, 2015

    Margaret Hoover is a relative of President Herbert Hoover.
    She managed, the finances, of the Hoover Foundation.
    She supports gay marriage.
    Expect a Republican to denounce that foundation?

    Reply
  5. rednekokie July 3, 2015

    This just keeps getting better and better. Before long, there may be enough wingnuttery to develop and stage an entire Broadway Musical. I’m sure it won’t be as funny as Springtime for Hitler, but it might approach it with sheer madness.
    Keep it up all you bigoted twerps out there — I’m certainly enjoying your ranting. Just don’t harm yourselves in your self immolations too much.

    Reply
    1. Hueight July 3, 2015

      Let’s all dance the ‘Gay Sharia’. Sounds like fun.

      Reply
  6. idamag July 3, 2015

    Pastor Brooks, you are like the woman, who desires sex, but her religion forbids so she has dreams of being raped. In your dreams, pastor, in your wet dreams is any gay going to force you to have sex. Tom Delay, I don’t like you – never have. Following Christ – I think not. It says in the Bible if you break one of the commandments, you break them all. Bearing false witness makes you an abhorrent person. Franklin Graham, I had a friend who was married and a gay basher. Not physically, but verbally. In the end it turned out he was gay. I think you doth protest too much. John Zmirak, you need to be beholden to Ronald Reagan that you are out here spouting off. Thank him for closing the mental hospitals. Bryan Fisher, cretinism does describe you. You might be the anti-Christ as people, like you, are driving people away from religion.

    Reply
  7. itsfun July 3, 2015

    I read that someone already has applied for a marriage license for him and his 2 want-a-be wife’s. How many are going to marry their pets and cars and whatever?

    Reply
    1. Carolyn1520 July 3, 2015

      Ask a republican.

      Reply
    2. gmccpa July 3, 2015

      Do you really envision a future where ‘car marrying’ becomes a real problem for our Country? Because if this is some widespread hidden desire, no law in the world is going to save us. Whether LGBT’s have equal rights or not.

      Personally, that’s not atop my list of future concerns. So, I’ll enjoy the long weekend, have few beers and a barbeque….and let you lose sleep over it.

      Reply
      1. itsfun July 3, 2015

        Don’t think I will lose any sleep over it. Just making a point to show how crazy people can get. I too will enjoy a barbeque and a few Bud Lights.

        Reply
        1. CrankyToo July 3, 2015

          One only has to read your posts to understand how crazy people can get.

          Reply
          1. itsfun July 3, 2015

            good one LOL

            Reply
          2. highpckts July 3, 2015

            Yours are no picnic!!

            Reply
          3. CrankyToo July 3, 2015

            Ouch! You really hurt my feelings with that zinger.

            Reply
        2. gmccpa July 3, 2015

          Fair enough. But it sounded like you were implying that we should deny gay people the right to marry, because a few nuts may want to marry their car. Which would be silly. I stand corrected.

          Reply
          1. Independent1 July 4, 2015

            Don’t let itsfun con you. He meant exactly what you thought with his nonsensical post.

            Reply
        3. Sand_Cat July 5, 2015

          Almost every post you make shows how crazy people can get.

          Reply
      2. Hueight July 3, 2015

        I love my truck. I’m sure I’m not alone.

        Reply
        1. ikallicrates July 9, 2015

          You’re not alone. We all love your truck.

          Reply
    3. Independent1 July 3, 2015

      “How many are going to marry their pets and cars and whatever?”

      As usual, you come out with some totally absurd comments, in an attempt to trivialize the issue being discussed.

      Do you suppose wanting to marry your pet or car or whatever, is something that would be driven by ones genes?? I doubt it – those would clearly be something decided BY CHOICE. Whereas, being gay or transgender IS NOT SOMETHING DETERMINED BY CHOICE.

      Being gay or feeling that your body is not of the right gender based on the way your mind works, IS NOT SOMETHING ONE CHOSES!! IT’S BEEN DETERMINED BY ONES GENES DURING HIS OR HER DEVELOPMENT IN THE WOMB.

      So grow up!! And stop trying to make something trivial out of something that’s a very serious matter!!!

      Reply
      1. itsfun July 3, 2015

        calm down – don’t get your panties in a wad.

        Reply
        1. Independent1 July 3, 2015

          It’s not me that needs to calm down; it’s you who needs to go play in the sandbox with the rest of your juvenile friends and leave the serious blogging here to the adult NM posters!! Many of us are getting real tired of your inane posts that are suited for the six-year old set.

          Reply
          1. itsfun July 4, 2015

            Here’s solution to your problem. Just don’t read my posts. Just wondering are you and the hateful old woman on here married?

            Reply
          2. Independent1 July 4, 2015

            You’re the one who’s being paid to get on here and say hateful things; just like you just did in trying to trivialize and mock the SCOTUS decision. The only ones I’m hateful to are the likes of you – who are nothing more than spiteful, hateful, lying, bigoted hypocrites!!!

            Reply
          3. itsfun July 4, 2015

            I just love the way people like you preach tolerance of others and their opinions, then call names when people don’t agree with you. If there is a hypocrite here it is you.

            Reply
          4. Independent1 July 4, 2015

            Typical right-wing attempt to trash the messenger!! It’s got nothing to do with you disagreeing, it’s got everything to do with you disagreeing in away that intentionally provides hate and divisiveness in virtually everything you post!!!

            Reply
          5. itsfun July 4, 2015

            Is that kinda like Obama blaming George Bush for every problem he has encountered? you are the hypocrite here and bigot. You don’t have a message, except to repeat what the left tells you to. Have you ever had a original thought?

            Reply
          6. Independent1 July 4, 2015

            You’re right, I don’t post ‘orignal thoughts’ like you and your ilk do based on your racist, bigoted, hypocritical opinions that you’ve conjoured up from your Faux News sheeple training!!

            I post FACTS that I’ve gleaned by doing research and reading/listening to FACTUAL news accounts not fabrications and lies from Faux News, Rush Limbaugh and a plethora of other virtually demented RWNJs whose only purpose in life is to misguided and lie to world.

            And Barack Obama has not even BEGUN to expose George Bush for all the calamities he and Dickie Boy inflicted on America in their disastrous 8 years in office leading America down the road to destruction. Obama has never pointed out that Bush and Cheney DELIBERATELY allowed 9/11 to happen. Or that based on the devastation that the Tax Cuts Georgie Boy pushed through on more lies, have created in our economy, every American has been cheated out of almost 50,000 of income over the past decade or so.

            Democrats could criticize Georgie boy for the next Decade and still not cover all the disasters his administration wrought on America.

            Reply
          7. Sand_Cat July 5, 2015

            Many of the problems he encounters are the direct result of Bush-Cheney. You just want to pretend otherwise.

            Reply
          8. Louis Allen July 5, 2015

            Short answer: No. He hasn’t.

            Reply
          9. Sand_Cat July 5, 2015

            Once again, tolerance means not killing or harming first of all. Does tolerance require that one sit silent in the face of arguments for intolerance and worse? Should the tolerant tolerate intolerance?
            I love how all of you bigots constantly claim that those of us who condemn your intolerant views are “intolerant.”

            Reply
          10. Louis Allen July 5, 2015

            No, they are not (that I know of).
            The “hateful OLD woman on here” was married to me (3 years of pure hell!) Good riddance !!

            Reply
      2. Sand_Cat July 22, 2015

        Let him marry his pet or car.

        Reply
        1. dpaano September 15, 2015

          Would they even have him?

          Reply
    4. ikallicrates July 9, 2015

      David Vaughan, senior minister at Whitewater Crossing Christian
      Church in Ohio, posted an online blog on the church’s website declaring his
      intention to divorce his wife and marry his true love.

      “Now that the Supreme Court has ruled that everyone has a constitutional right to marry anyone (or anything), I have come to a huge decision” said Vaughan. “I have decided to marry bacon.”

      Reply
    5. Sand_Cat September 15, 2015

      A car seems like a good match for you.

      Reply
  8. gmccpa July 3, 2015

    That’s a lot of misplaced ego you have there, Mr. (gays want to come out and have sex with us) Brooks. Highly doubtful that their end game was to have sex with a bunch of cranky, old, nasty, bigoted, hateful, zealots. I could be wrong, but I’m guessing those credentials are not the biggest sexual turn ons…..for anyone, gay or straight.

    Reply
  9. Grannysmovin July 3, 2015

    Tom Brooks: “ gays to force straight people to “come out and have sex with us.”
    Only in your dreams Brooks.
    Tom DeLay: Come clean now Tom, those secret memos are really pages from your diary, you little pedafiler you.
    Franklin Graham: Yes he did give us the rainbow and those it represents, and that is why he is so upset with you and other faux Christians for hating on his creations.
    John Zmirak and Bryan Fisher: “It’s better to keep your mouth shut and appear stupid than open it and remove all doubt” ― Mark Twain.

    Reply
  10. The lucky one July 3, 2015

    It should be illegal to bilk the radically mental deficient as each of these charlatans do. I’ll bet most of them don’t even believe the trash they peddle. They’re just good at selling it to idiots.

    Reply
    1. Siegfried Heydrich July 3, 2015

      Hey, wolves gotta eat, ya know, and sheep are their natural prey. Vultures gotta eat, too. It’s the Circle of Life . . .

      Reply
  11. Karen Bille-Golden July 3, 2015

    Sometimes you just can’t waste mental energy on those who continue to insult our intelligence. If I believe anything, it’s that God shines his grace and showers rainbows on us all even during our most foolish moments In the meantime, let’s keep reaching for the higher ground.

    Reply
  12. Carolyn1520 July 3, 2015

    These guys can only dream about men or women wanting to touch them much less get perverted with them.
    🙂

    Reply
    1. dpaano September 15, 2015

      These guys are the REAL degenerates!

      Reply
  13. FireBaron July 3, 2015

    I was really worried this week. I made it through the fourth page and no Glenn Beck, no Rush Limbaugh, no Pat Robertson. Then, thank the Lord, there was Bryan Fischer proving his “crazy creds” again. You know, when you have these second stringers (c’mon, Tom DeLay? He’s old news.) it must be a slow “crazy” week.

    Reply
  14. highpckts July 3, 2015

    But what about all those pedophiles and rapist, that are straight, on the streets? Do they also want you to come out to play with them? Seriously! To think these people are worthy of interviews on public radio and TV! I fear for this country!

    Reply
  15. Sue Donim July 3, 2015

    just think WWJD ???

    Reply
    1. Independent1 July 3, 2015

      No one knows for sure what Jesus would do.

      When they tried to get Jesus to condemn a woman caught in the act of adultery, he refused to condemn her, and instead, told the first one there without sin to throw the 1st stone. Obviously, there were none there without sin, so all they could do was turn and walk away.

      In more than 3 years of preaching the gospel, Jesus never brought up the subject of gay relationships. And it’s been almost 2,000 years since we have a record of what Jesus preached. And in the 2,000 years before Jesus came, God didn’t outwardly condemn adultery; he did not criticize Abraham for fathering a child with his wife Sarah’s handmaiden. Yet when Jesus came, Jesus made it clear that God would recognize, from that time forward, only one marriage in a person’s lifetime.

      So none of us knows what God really thinks about gay relationships. What we do know is that aside from loving God, the remaining commandments can be summed up with “Love they neighbor as thyself”; and “Think more highly of others than we do of ourselves”. And “Thou shalt not judge.”

      Reply
    2. idamag July 4, 2015

      He might say, “Let those, without sin, cast the first stone.”

      Reply
    3. Sue Donim July 4, 2015

      judge not … , do untill others …, love one another …, they shall know you by the fruit of your actions, do not be a stumbling stone. etc .?

      Reply
    4. dpaano September 15, 2015

      I’d love for him to come down from wherever and whip these evangelical idiots into shape!!!

      Reply
  16. Siegfried Heydrich July 3, 2015

    Was Tom DeLay drunk during his interview? He was sure looking kind of lit, though that just might be the way he is these days.

    Reply
  17. plc97477 July 3, 2015

    tim brooks, Sorry they don’t want you. No one wants you get over it. tom delay, sorry young boys are still off limits. franklin graham god made rainbows and gays so it fits for them to be together.

    Reply
    1. dpaano September 15, 2015

      Yeah, I never read anything in the bible that said God made AND owned rainbows….

      Reply
  18. Aaron_of_Portsmouth July 4, 2015

    With the extremists doing their usual reactionary responses to trends and decisions
    that run counter to what they want, and with certain political ideologues doing their best to shove their feet into their mouths, its small wonder that the partisans are up in arms and displaying their typical manic behavior that continues to bode ill for both sides to
    learn how to consult together and bring everyone to the table to discuss strategies that benefit all and not just a certain segment(mostly of politically like-minded people or along lines of racial/ethnic identity).

    Reply
  19. charleo1 July 4, 2015

    And, on a related note, ISSL using their extreme version of Shari Law, just beheaded their first women victims this week. The charge? Allegedly practicing sorcery. Last week’s drive for societal righteousness in the Caliphate included publicly throwing several men accused of being Gay off a tall building. Some real life slippery slope examples for those who are now worried with the marriage equality ruling, that some cowboys may be contemplating taking their relationship with their horse to the next level, that there are worse things possible.

    Reply
    1. ikallicrates July 9, 2015

      I have no problem with that, as long as the horses are consenting adults.

      Reply
  20. Andrew Freeland July 4, 2015

    Love the writing; “demented”, “increasingly unhinged”, and “love may have won, but minds were lost” – hilarious! Good stuff!

    Reply
  21. jakenhyde July 5, 2015

    Why in hell isn’t DeLay in prison????? He, of all the scummy people mentioned in this article, has not one foot on which to stand when it comes to talking about what’s right and wrong.

    Reply
  22. ikallicrates July 9, 2015

    Those who warned us that legalizing gay marriage will destroy heterosexual marriage have been proven right!!! On the very same day that the Supreme Court declared gay marriage legal in all fifty states, Marcus Bachmann filed for divorce from Michele Bachmann.

    Reply
    1. dpaano September 15, 2015

      Should have done that a long time ago, she’s a real bitch and crazier than a loon!!!

      Reply
  23. dpaano September 15, 2015

    These idiots are the ONLY moral jihadists that I’ve seen!!! Do they not understand that this isn’t about sex….it’s about constitutional rights given by our Founding Fathers. If they’d only get their heads out of the gutter and realize that, they’d all be better off. But, no, the want to “force” their theological beliefs on everyone….much like ISIS is forcing jihadist Muslim faith to the Middle East!!! What a truckload of hypocrites!!

    Reply

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