This Week In Crazy: Texas Is Nuttier Than We Thought
2. Greg Abbott and the Republic of Texas
In order to “address concerns of Texas citizens,” Abbott issued an order to the Texas State Guard on Tuesday to keep an eye on Operation Jade Helm 15, an eight-week military training exercise run by four branches of the U.S. Military. “Jade Helm 15” certainly does have a sinister sound to it — especially if you’re a old white Tejano in thrall to talk-radio paranoia.
At a recent public hearing convened to address the concerns of residents of Bastrop County, Texas, where some of the exercises are scheduled to take place, an exasperated officer for the U.S. Army Special Operations Command tried to explain that Jade Helm 15 was not a preparation for martial law, nor was it a smokescreen to sneak ISIS fighters over the Rio Grande, or even a master plot to seize anyone’s guns. “That’s what you say,” grumbled one man who held up a Webster’s dictionary for reasons that presumably made sense to him. “Dissent is not a conspiracy theory,” proclaimed one sign from another perturbed local. Another read: “Don’t Train On Me / No Gestapo in Bastrop / Keep America Free.”
Alex Jones has got his listeners thinking this exercise is the first step to establishing martial law, and we expect soon Texans will be running down the street shouting “The federales are coming! The federales are coming!” Won’t that be fun?