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Why Did Texas Politicians Cave In To Delusional Paranoia?

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Why Did Texas Politicians Cave In To Delusional Paranoia?


The real news isn’t that many Texans seemingly subscribe to an apocalyptic, delusional worldview, one that has them convinced that a U.S Army training exercise called “Jade Helm 15” is the opening wedge of an Obama-led coup d’etat — seizing guns, importing thousands of ISIS fighters to subdue local patriots, and throwing dissenters into FEMA concentration camps.

Because where else would you start a military takeover but the strategic hamlet of Bastrop, Texas, commanding the crucial highway junction between Elgin and LaGrange? Never mind that Fort Hood, the largest U.S. military installation in the world, is maybe 75 miles up the road. Bastrop is the linchpin.

No, the real news is that name-brand Texas politicians such as Gov. Greg Abbott and Sen. Ted Cruz think it’s smart to lend plausibility to what is essentially a mass psychiatric delusion. Did you know that even Walmart’s involved? Rumor says recently closed stores are being refitted as barracks for foreign soldiers.

After a raucous hearing in Bastrop, during which a regular Army colonel who pointed out that he’d served five presidents over 27 years got accused of lying and shouted down, Gov. Abbott ordered the Texas Guard to monitor U.S. Army war games this summer.

This so that “Texans know their safety, constitutional rights, private property rights and civil liberties will not be infringed.”

Probably because there’s lithium in the water, stuff like this rarely happens out in El Paso — home of Fort Bliss, the 1,700-square mile HQ of the First Armored Division. But just across the border in Chihuahua, according to the Family Research Council, there’s a secret ISIS base with thousands of terrorists poised to strike. Hundreds of miles of underground tunnels have been dug to facilitate the invasion.

Also lending support to the nutball faction was Texas GOP Sen. Ted Cruz, who expressed support for Abbott’s leadership.

“I understand the concern that’s been raised by a lot of citizens about Jade Helm,” Cruz said. “…I think part of the reason is, we have seen for six years a federal government disrespecting the liberty of the citizens and that produces fear. When you see a federal government that is attacking our free speech rights, our religious liberty rights, our Second Amendment rights… That produces distrust as to government.”

Hey Ted, Republicans lost two presidential elections. Grow up. Arkansas’ own Mike Huckabee plays to similar fears with gratuitous twaddle about “criminalizing Christianity.” All this really amounts to, as Paul Krugman puts it, is fear that Obama will “seize control of [Texas] and force its citizens to accept universal health care at gunpoint.”

Look, it’s not just Texas. Mad conspiracy theories are nothing new in American politics. Historian Rick Perlstein’s book Before the Storm describes a similar paranoid outbreak in 1963. A California GOP senator complained about an avalanche of “’fright mail,’ mostly centering on two astonishingly widespread rumors: that Chinese commandos were training in Mexico for an invasion of the United States through San Diego; and that 100,000 UN troops — 16,000 of them ‘African Negro troops, who are cannibals’ [sic] — were secretly rehearsing in the Georgia swamps under the command of a Russian colonel for a UN martial-law takeover of the United States.”

Back then it was President John F. Kennedy, an Irish-Catholic Democrat, who afflicted the John Birch Society with fear of The Other. Today, it’s President Obama scaring an Austin-based talk radio and Internet conspiracy theorist called Alex Jones.

Richard Hofstadter’s classic 1964 essay “The Paranoid Style in American Politics” explains: “I call it the paranoid style simply because no other word adequately evokes the sense of heated exaggeration, suspiciousness, and conspiratorial fantasy that I have in mind.”

Left-wing paranoia is not unknown. However, in America paranoid mass movements are almost entirely a right-wing phenomenon, partly because they fit so well with the melodramatic themes of Protestant fundamentalism.

“The paranoid spokesman,” Hofstadter added, “sees the fate of conspiracy in apocalyptic terms — he traffics in the birth and death of whole worlds, whole political orders, whole systems of human values. He is always manning the barricades of civilization… he does not see social conflict as something to be mediated and compromised, in the manner of the working politician. Since what is at stake is always a conflict between absolute good and absolute evil, what is necessary is not compromise but the will to fight things out to a finish.”

Is that not totally Ted Cruz?

But you know what? Ted Cruz ain’t Texas.

Early indications are that Cruz and Abbott are widely perceived to have made fools of themselves. Coverage in the statewide press has been derisive. A retired GOP legislator, Todd Smith of Euless, wondered if he should be more “horrified that I have to choose between the possibility that my governor actually believes this stuff and the possibility that my governor doesn’t have the backbone to stand up to those who do.”

Good question.

Screenshot: Austin American-Statesman

Gene Lyons

Gene Lyons is a political columnist and author. Lyons writes a column for the Arkansas Times that is nationally syndicated by United Media. He was previously a general editor at Newsweek as wells an associate editor at Texas Monthly where he won a National Magazine Award in 1980. He contributes to Salon.com and has written for such magazines as Harper's, The New York Times Magazine, The New York Review of Books, Entertainment Weekly, Washington Monthly, The Nation, Esquire, and Slate.

A graduate of Rutgers University with a Ph.D. in English from the University of Virginia, Lyons taught at the Universities of Massachusetts, Arkansas and Texas before becoming a full-time writer in 1976. A native of New Jersey, Lyons has lived in Arkansas with his wife Diane since 1972. The Lyons live on a cattle farm near Houston, Ark., with a half-dozen dogs, several cats, three horses, and a growing herd of Fleckvieh Simmental cows.
Lyons has written several books including The Higher Illiteracy (University of Arkansas, 1988), Widow's Web (Simon & Schuster, 1993), Fools for Scandal (Franklin Square, 1996) as well as The Hunting Of The President: The 10 Year Campaign to Destroy Bill and Hillary Clinton, which he co-authored with National Memo Editor-in-Chief Joe Conason.

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  1. Godzilla May 6, 2015

    As usual, a failure to do any real research for the faux journalism at any Left Wing rag. First, the “order” to watch the Army was already in place, since the command center is a TNG headquarters where the TNG leadership will be assisting the Army at the command level. Journalists, or those who think they are journalist’s should write about things they know about, like propaganda BS. The Texas Governors “order” was to calm the fears of Texans, who DON’T TRUST THE OBAMA ADMINISTRATION! Frankly, Texas is not alone. Lack of trust doesn’t result in paranoia, it results in vigilance. A little research into the exercise scenario would go a long way into understanding why a few folks have cause for concern. But, why would any Left Wing rag do any research when it’s easier to make up stuff and Lie to the munchkins who read this drivel.

    1. The lucky one May 6, 2015

      As opposed to FOX and the rest of the corporate dominated media which is nothing but the facts right? This article doesn’t matter as far Cruz showing himself to be a fool or a charlatan, probably both, he has proven that beyond any doubt on numerous occasions.

    2. i2grok May 6, 2015

      Have you forgotten to tike your meds this morning?

    3. charleo1 May 6, 2015

      It’s true! We can always tell when the Nazis, and Commies are trying take over. They ‘impose,’ a regular doctor on as many people as possible. Make sure the poorest children aren’t going hungry, and have a roof over their heads after a huge recession. Then, they wind up creating more jobs, put more Americans back to work in 6 years, than the two previous Bush Administrations, lasting 12, combined. Just one word for that, my friend: TYRANNY! So the views of those in TX. who deeply mistrust the Obama Administration, is well taken. And the U.S. military. Who themselves, have only been half way around the World fighting two wars for this Country, for the past 15 years. Who volunteered after 9/11 by the droves to serve this Country. And by all accounts have, by endless self sacrifice, performed brilliantly. So the mistrust, and fear, that these soldiers, our next door neighbors in many cases, would participate in an action against their fellow citizens, and their Country, is well warranted from those patriotic, “informed,” Texans who after all, need their fears calmed, by a gutless, pandering Governor.

    4. adler56 May 6, 2015

      That’s so crazy I think you believe it- it’s too far out even for sarcasm.

    5. gator highlights May 6, 2015

      The article is not arguing that these idiots trust Obama or aren’t afraid. It’s just pointing out that the “fear” is based on non-sense and paranoia and politicians are feeding it. You should have read the entire thing; would have saved you the time it took to write this pointless f’ing comment.

    6. Angela Walker May 6, 2015

      Godzilla’s just a little bit insane in the membrane. 😀

      1. Godzilla May 6, 2015

        I’m totally sane, unlike you, I don’t believe that a government that spies on it’s people as being trustworthy. I bet you save a fortune providing your own pictures of your colon!

        1. jmprint May 6, 2015

          Not only and idiot, but you are also an A$$HOLE.

        2. charleo1 May 6, 2015

          The government should just quit watching then? Or just watch outside the Country? Or, just a select few Countries then? Or, you assign the parameters. And hold some other entity responsible for the 24/7 security of the ports, utilities, computer networks, water supplies, and public events. And don’t dare cry to your gov. to do something, when the unthinkable happens. Because it’s not trustworthy, remember?

    7. jmprint May 6, 2015

      I have a brother-in-law who is mentally challenged, and he thinks exactly like the right wing nuts, but he has an excuse he has been diagnosed with mild schizophrenic.

      1. Godzilla May 6, 2015

        I feel bad for your brother- n- law. Having yo deal with not only his problem, but having to deal with a family member who is likely in worse shape snd not bring treated.

        1. jmprint May 6, 2015

          You should be more worried about your mental state. You guys are TOTAL IDIOTS?

    8. Mr Corrections May 7, 2015

      I read that as “OH NO THE PRESIDENT IS BLACK” repeated about 50 times.

      It was a real time-saver.

  2. Dominick Vila May 6, 2015

    What is really scary about this is not that political charlatans are using fear to buy votes, but that millions of Americans actually believe this garbage. I noticed a precursor to this a few days ago when I saw a picture of a white woman in Texas protesting against police brutality, and a couple of “patriots” armed with automatic weapons nearby making sure her actions did not turn violent. Short of her hitting the patriots on the head with her sign, the only thing that was apparent to me was the use of intimidation to dissuade fellow Americans from exercising our freedoms.

  3. charleo1 May 6, 2015

    This can be explained very easily. But first we must understand we have been invaded by extraterrestrials from most likely, a neighboring galaxy. Who are able to transform themselves into human form. So, it’s very difficult to tell who’s one of us, and who is one of them. But we here at the Texas Coalition for the Re Establishment of Humans in Gov. (Donations Please!) are very sure, based on indisputable vital criteria, (He’s Black, for Christ’s sake!) That Barack Obama is not, I repeat, not, one of us! And him and his human co-conspirators, (Liberals and Commies) are planning a takeover of the U.S… And if you think about it for a second, where better to start, than the strongest, freedom loving-est, God fearing-est, gun totin-est, place on Earth? Texas! Because they know once the Great State of Texas falls, the rest of this spineless, Commie infested, Gay hugging, Beyonce enthralled Country, folds up like a cheap suit. And that’s why Gov. Abbott is seeing to it our Texas boys in uniform keep an eye out. It’s all perfectly logical if you keep yourselves informed, and heed the warnings of patriots like Ted Cruz, Louie Gohmert, Michell Bachmann, Alex Jones, and others on the front lines. Who watch as invaders from the Mother Ship pour across our Southern Borders by the millions, daily. As executive orders are going out from the Federal Gov. in Washington, to eliminate the 2nd Amendment, confiscate our guns, and impose Shira Law! Don’t believe me? There are plenty of well respected news organizations outside the mainstream press, like The Globe, (my other Bible,) that are still willing to tell Americans the truth. Heck! Even the mostly Liberal, although much more truthful, Fox News, is beginning to see the light!

    1. adler56 May 6, 2015

      Are you auditioning for The Onion?

      1. charleo1 May 6, 2015

        No auditioning. Just providing an alternative goofball conspiracy, so goofball conspiracist will have a choice! You’re welcome.

    2. Charlotte Sines May 6, 2015

      Be careful. The RWNJ will believe this is really happening and then we’ll have a whole new mess to deal with.

      1. charleo1 May 6, 2015

        It’s too late! Google, Area 51, or visit Roswell NM. It was reported in a Feb. ’08, Washington Post article discussing the growing trend of anti-intellectualism, and anti-rationalism. That according to a National Science Foundation survey, 20% of Americans believe the Moon landings were staged. And another 1 in 5 continue to believe the Sun revolves around the Earth. Or, read Mike Huckabee’s latest book. “God, Guns, Grits, and Gravy. And his unapologetic defense of it all.

  4. terry b May 6, 2015

    What do you except from MORONS. They are both fools.

  5. itsfun May 6, 2015

    What if they are right?

    1. bobnstuff May 6, 2015

      Have you ever met a left wing solder?

      1. Angela Walker May 6, 2015

        Yep. Lots of them during the Viet Nam war. To answer your astoundingly stupid question. 😀

      2. ps0rjl May 6, 2015

        Yes, I have. I served in the Marine Corps from 1969 to 1971. I prior to that was a member of the SDS and also served as a member of the National Coalition to End the War In Vietnam. I was a liberal before I went in the corps and was when I got out. In fact I have always been a liberal.

        1. bobnstuff May 6, 2015

          I work with a bunch of Vets and have most of my life, when I was a boss I hired as many Vets as I could because they where my best workers. As a whole I have found that they are much more likely to be right leaning. The younger ones who are post draft are more likely to be conservative. It’s the old one who
          have seen the world that cover the whole range of views.

      3. Kipco May 6, 2015

        It’s been my experience that a fair number of people who enlist in the military are right leaning and they have heard the war drums being pounded by right wing politicians and they succumb to the populist message. However, when they get home after their tours and get treated like crap by the government, they tend to shift the other way.

        1. bobnstuff May 6, 2015

          Why is it the republicans have no problem sending young men to war but isn’t willing to pay the price. They have no problem paying for tanks we don’t need and private contractors to guard people who shouldn’t be there in the first place but don’t pay the ones put their life on the line anything. They treat tanks better then our men in arms. What stupid leaders we have We dishonor the people we should honor and honer people who have no honor.

      4. itsfun May 6, 2015


        1. rvn_sgt6768 May 6, 2015

          You have now

    2. charleo1 May 6, 2015

      Then Father Charles Coughlin was right. Joseph McCarthy was right. And morons are usually always right too. And then everything Conservatives claim about America, American Exceptionalism, the American people themselves, or the vaunted U.S. military, being the finest fighting forces in the World are wrong. And their every utterance of, “Support the Troops,” is a lie. You see, one cannot simultaneously love America, and claim to hate it’s institutions. Unless those are the anarchists, the traitors, liars, and the true enemies of liberty and representative governance. One may not claim to uphold The Constitution, while attempting to incite, or to advocate extra, or unconstitutional, actions outside the bounds of that Constitution to, “save,” The Constitution,” itself. Unless one is that which they stridently warn the rest of us about. And those who are too blind to see this obvious foundational truth, are ideological morons at best. Blinded by their own weaknesses of education, biasses, or prejudices.

    3. Kipco May 6, 2015

      THIS statement right here is what keeps the right wing paranoiacs like Alex Jones in business. THIS attitude helps people like him laugh all the way to the bank with sacks of money they made from saps who think this way. Alex Jones hasn’t been right even ONCE, what makes you think he’s right about this? Sheesh…

      1. itsfun May 6, 2015

        I didn’t say he was right or wrong, just asked what if he is right?

        1. Kipco May 6, 2015

          What is the point of even asking when clearly he is not, nor has he ever been right about anything?. He’s a huckster who profits from playing to the fears and prejudices of gullible people. The idea that he is “right” about anything is ridiculous and beneath consideration on any level.

        2. Norm Cooper May 7, 2015

          Then wear your AK-47 when you go to Kroger, the bank, to bed and to the bathroom so you’ll be ready when the American Army invades “‘Murica.”

    4. jmprint May 6, 2015

      Schizophrenics are always right in their head.

  6. Kipco May 6, 2015

    You’ve got to remember that these are just simple farmers. These are
    people of the land. The common clay of the new West. You know… morons.

    1. sgjsdad May 7, 2015


  7. adler56 May 6, 2015

    What a bunch of wackos- it’s their totally inadequate school system that has crazy people picking out the books schools should use. I’ve only been to Texas a few times and usually drove through as fast as possible. That might be some airborne insanity.

  8. tonyfleming May 6, 2015

    I’d like to know what Cruz is smoking if he thinks we have “…a federal government that is attacking our free speech rights, our religious liberty rights, our Second Amendment rights.” These are all fears that have been stoked by the right but have not happened under this Administration. Can anyone point to actually legislation or even executive orders that accomplished any of these?

    1. Michael Ross May 6, 2015

      Ted Cruz and the religious right are actively trying to confuse Americans into thinking their inability to oppress others means that they are being oppressed.

      1. Kuzimo Gardner May 7, 2015

        That’s the problem, these people need to start thinking for themselves checking out both sides of the issues and make an intelligent choice instead of sitting back and listening to Fox News or those stupid lying campaign ads(which are the worst) or some pundit on any of these cable news shows. Open minds means a smarter American, and electing smarter politicians instead of the brain
        dead fools we have in government now.

  9. Jeff Wolf May 6, 2015

    Thank you, Mr. Lyons, for pointing out that this is not Texas — that this small fringe group of misguided souls does not represent the views of the state as a whole and that Gov. Abbott’s pandering to it is reprehensible. Even Jimmy Rick Perry said so, and I never thought I’d be congratulating him for expressing common sense. From having interviewed Abbott many times after he was appointed to the Texas Supreme Court in 1995 and into his tenure as Texas attorney general, I know Abbott is intelligent enough to recognize a bushel of nuts when he sees it. But because fewer people voted to put him in the governor’s office (2.79 million) than the Dallas Cowboys have Facebook followers (3.75 million), Abbott knows what constituency to play to if he wants to be re-elected. That’s what’s really sad.
    Thanks again.
    Jeff Wolf
    Abilene, Texas

    1. rvn_sgt6768 May 6, 2015

      Then simply get the rest of the MAJORITY to VOTE him out of office. Let him pander to the small minority of nut-jobs but don’t give him the votes he needs to stay in office. Exercise your right to VOTE and help us (US) get rid of these fruitcakes. Stop helping them get into and remain in office.

    2. NCSDRE2 May 6, 2015

      And yet, the people voted for Abbott, who was anointed by Perry, who was anointed by Bush. I did not, but it made no difference. I hope those who voted for this man and the supermajority of GOPTP are satisfied. I never thought I would long for the days when Texas politicians could be drunkards, adulterers, sinners of highest order, but they got the job done. They wouldn’t stand for two seconds what passes for legislators today.

    3. Norm Cooper May 7, 2015

      As long as non-voting Texans refuse to vote then when these nut-jobs are running for elective office then we who reside in this state are going to own it. Like it or not they represent everyone who lives in this state.

      1. etherbunny May 7, 2015

        I’m pretty sure there are a lot of Texans that would like to vote, but they’ve been “ID’d” off the voter rolls.


  10. Daniel Jones May 6, 2015

    Mister Smith, Mister Lyons, both are true.

    Ted Cruz does believe this stuff, and he’s too spineless to stand up to it even to preserve his public image.

    The man is a genuine menace, and the evangelical Right are fully padded with equally insipid threats to national sanity and our country’s public image to the rest of the world.

    If these idiots take office, America will cease to be a First World nation.

    1. dpaano June 12, 2015

      The really sad part is that these evangelicals are turning off most people to the Christian religion. They’ve turned it into a real hate-mongering group of people, and REAL Christians don’t want to be a part of it!!! And they can wonder why most of our young people aren’t going to church any longer…..they’re embarrassed by these people and their ridiculous ideas! They are the most UN-Christian people in the nation!!!

  11. Paul May 6, 2015

    “When you see a federal government that is attacking our free speech rights, our religious liberty rights, our Second Amendment rights…”

    But the Federal government isn’t attacking any of these things, Ted. No new federal gun laws have been passed in years. The religious freedom of employers to keep birth control out of the insurance plans they compensate their employees with is alive and well, and speech is as free as it ever has been. The rulings Ted didn’t like about wedding cakes and wedding photographers came from STATE COURTS.

    1. bobnstuff May 6, 2015

      One new gun law, you can now carry in national parks.

      1. dpaano June 12, 2015

        Another place I Texas that I won’t don’t think I’ll habitate!

  12. geraldhoey May 6, 2015

    I don’t think either of these guys really believes this, but they have to pander to the right wing nut jobs because they need their votes to win.

  13. jebediah123 May 6, 2015

    If this “conspiracy” is any indication of what the republican “presidential debates” will be like, I can’t wait. The debates will be better comedy than Saturday Night Live.

  14. rvn_sgt6768 May 6, 2015

    Simply because teddie cruzie can utter such foolishness is living proof the Federal Government is NOT doing any of the things teddie says they are and shows there is no need to monitor the Federal Government for these so called abuses.If the Federal Government were attacking teddies free speech, he would not be FREE to tell us now would he? Time to put these John Birchers to rest.

  15. drdroad May 6, 2015

    Wow, who thought is was possible for Texas to elect a Governor crazier than the last one??

  16. John Ranta May 6, 2015

    This is unfair to Texas. Louisiana, Kansas, Alabama, Arizona, Oklahoma and Arkansas would all do the same thing. There are a bunch of states as stupidly paranoid as Texas. Let’s be fair and balanced…

  17. Michael Ross May 6, 2015

    Yes, there is such a thing as liberal paranoia. But it’s born out of watching conservatives feverishly trying to stifle voting rights (and, in some cases, even freely admitting that’s what they’re trying to do), threatening to murder and/or calling for mass executions of anyone who questions or crosses them, deliberately sabotaging the country’s own interests and/or holding the economy hostage in one manufactured crisis after another, and threatening secession and/or violent revolution.

    Conservative conspiracy theories are born out of their own childish greed and stupidity, and will attempt to be supported solely on the way Obama is moving his feet.

    1. dpaano June 12, 2015

      Yeah, Texas is a state that is pro-executions for its prisoners, but with the same breath, is anti-abortion!!! Unfortunately, you can’t have one or the other, but they seem to not think clearly about that!!!

  18. NCSDRE2 May 6, 2015

    This is their Obama fantasy come to fruition, in their minds. And helpfully fed by those only to eager to pick their pockets, or their vote. What is really sick, in my view, is how this theory denigrates those in uniform. No open conspiracy ever succeeds. So, that leads me to think this little bonfire might be distracting from a much bigger one. Is perpetuating fear a long term plan? And who will profit more from it?

    1. Filthy Liar May 7, 2015

      Fear serves the Republicans better than it does the Democrats because the Republicans have traditionally been seen as the party of warriors. That’s less true now, because they’ve gone far enough right to embrace the fringes of the conservative movement, and those folks aren’t warriors they’re martyrs-in-waiting.

    2. dpaano June 12, 2015

      It’s the rightwing way…..lies and scare tactics. Keeps their base in line!!!

  19. later666 May 6, 2015

    I live in Texas. It’s embarrassing. The nutbag right extremists have taken over this state. Anti everything – except Big Biz. Suck up to them all the time.

    1. sgjsdad May 7, 2015

      Until Big Biz tells them they can’t have their guns on Big Biz’s property. That s***fight is coming soon to a red-state near you too.

  20. Eleanore Whitaker May 7, 2015

    There are certain midwestern and southern states that covertly employ the strategy that they will NOT adhere to federal laws. This is one of those garbage leftovers from the Civil War days where they sent thousands of poor farm boys out to fight for rich’s men’s rights to keep and own slaves according to “states” rights.

    The idea in these states is to secede from the union and still get all of those nice fat tax subsidies the rest of the states end up paying for. So they refuse federal laws and still take billions a year in federal tax revenues they don’t even pay in fair amounts.

    Here are the facts. Compare the top 2 states who get the most in federal tax dollars…No. 1, Alaska – $1.87 plus $1200 in subsidies for every man, woman and child living in that state…another $2 billion in tax subsidies for their fishing industry, for the $1 they pay in federal taxes. 2. Texas – $1.72 for every $1 they pay in federal taxes. But wait, TX also gets a helping of that Big Oil tax subsidy, which in 2014, the GOP House Majority made sure was $14 billion. Big Oil needs this money? Or its CEOs do so they’ll hand it back in campaign dollars to their favorite CON candidates?

    The top 10 trough feeding states are all red states with the exception of Maine, a purple state. All of the red states get tax returns for the $1 from $1.37 to that $1.87 Alaska gets.

    Now, compare this to what the blue states get…anywere from 62 cents for their $1 (NJ, NY, CT) to 68 cents. This is fair? When the northeast is in desperate need of funding for bridges, tunnels and roads that are crumbling…all while they pay their federal taxes for Big Oil, red state prison industries, military industries in VA, AZ, TX and OK? The gun running states like GA, NC, SC, MS and MO?

    So…you bet these swaggering, drawling belligerents have seceded…they just don’t announce it loud enough to lose all those tax revenues YOU pay and they don’t.

    1. hicusdicus May 8, 2015

      You really need to find something else to do besides recite statics that have no meaning to anyone but you. You are in the winter of your life. Get out and have some fun. That ole camel toe was made for walking. Let it have some fresh air and sunshine. Get a life and I don’t mean herding some 18 wheeler into the local truck stop. Quit reminiscing about the bad ole days they are nobodies fault but your own. You are smart and experienced and probably pretty good looking . Have at it.

      1. Eleanore Whitaker May 9, 2015

        I’m guessing statics…don’t mean anything unless it puts moolah in your bank account? You can be assured I am not in the winter of my life. And, I get the greatest enjoyment at this particular juncture slamming facts and truth the world’s liars by omission hate most. My life is more satisfying than yours can ever be….I’ve achieved more in my 68 years than you ever could in 100. Try again…manic depressives like you and your ilk always see the glass half empty…Sorry..MINE is always FULL.

        1. hicusdicus May 9, 2015

          I will agree with you that you are full, but it is not a glass and it is not water.

          1. Eleanore Whitaker May 10, 2015

            Let’s compare you and your fat mouth and fat butt to me…I’m 4’10” tall and weigh 128 lbs. You bet I’m full of the purest truths and facts that men like you can’t stand. You are the kind of man who loves to be Head Honcho when you know you can’t make it without your McWifie’s income to add to your ability to not have to bust butt. Try again space cadet.

          2. hicusdicus May 11, 2015

            Wow! I did not realize you were one of those little bitty fluffy people. Have ever been approached to star in a Disney movie? You could be one of the dwarfs in snow white then it would have two witches.

          3. Eleanore Whitaker May 11, 2015

            I’ve had the good fortune to start my first career as a dancer at age 3. I was performing semi-professionally by age 14. I chose teaching dance rather than performing since I loathed those lightening quick costume changes required for shows. I taught dance in my own studios from age 17 until age 33. At which point, my non-dancer ex forced me to close the studios he half owned with me. I had no intentions of being his 2nd income. I chose to teach part-time at Rutgers while I pursued a career in private businesses like Akzo Chemical, ADP and CPS Chemical, all while I worked part-time teaching dance at Rutgers.

            In 1989, I began working as a tech writer/office manager/accounting manager for an environmental engineering company from which I retired in 2013. I continued my writing career, with 2 published books and 4200 ghost written articles for businesses and blogs online. I’m currently looking at taking on more ghost writing projects.

          4. hicusdicus May 12, 2015

            I started my career at age 7 by finally becoming totally toilet trained. Reading your comments has put me back in diapers, thanks! From age 15 to 45 I convinced my dad it was his duty to support me Then I found a wife with a good job. Unlike you she was not my second income, she was my only income. Even though she had a very healthy education she had no time to teach at the university she was to busy teaching me how to be civilized. I don’t know anything about her job I was always asleep when she left for work. She is retired from her paycheck job and can now wait on me around the clock.. Unlike you she is not looking for a second job, I am all she needs. Lately she has been shopping for cemetery lots with her lady friend who is pharmacist I don’t think this is a good sign.

          5. Eleanore Whitaker May 12, 2015

            I hate to burst your dream bubble pallie but men like you rarely grow mentally past age 15. Women with any sense of intelligence avoid guys like you as if you are a contagious disease.

          6. hicusdicus May 12, 2015

            From listening to your rants about your involvement with men you must not be very intelligent. It sounds like you could use a good course of antibiotics , they work against most contagious diseases. I don’t think medical science has come up with a cure for foot in mouth disease yet. Yes you are correct I am a coward. People like you scare the crap out of me. But at least I don’t need any ex-lax.

          7. Eleanore Whitaker May 13, 2015

            YOu make NO sense. Pray tell? How do you “listen” to rants on a thread like this? If you are trying to support my basis for your mental illness…You just proved it fine and dandy.

          8. hicusdicus May 13, 2015

            Mental illness comes in handy when talking to you.

    2. Robert Eckert May 9, 2015

      Texas is actually a break-even state.

  21. Whatmeworry May 7, 2015

    Served under 5 presidents in 27 years??? That was his 1st lie

    1. Whatmeworry May 7, 2015

      Served under 5 presidents in 27 years??? That was true

    2. Daniel Max Ketter May 7, 2015

      Whos the first president?

  22. Robert Cruder May 7, 2015

    The Republican party has profited for years by legitimizing the apocalyptic, delusional worldview called Christian fundamentalism.

    West Texas does have survivalists and older land owners who share that view but those that I know in the towns are mostly 1960’s hippies who went there to retire with their hand-painted VW micro-bus.

  23. etherbunny May 7, 2015

    They are from Texas. Not required to have contact with the real world.

  24. Allan Richardson May 8, 2015

    If Ken Kesey were writing his novel today, it would be titled “One Flew Over the Texas Statehouse,” and Rick Perry would be playing Jack Nicholson’s role in the movie, but with a slight plot twist: Rick STARTS OUT with a lobotomy, and the hospital tries and fails to IMPLANT the missing lobe!

  25. penguintruth May 8, 2015

    I’m going to go with “they’re f***ing stupid”, Mr. Lyons. There’s no complicated, nuanced scenario here. Just plain idiocy.

  26. ma May 13, 2015

    Texas is known as the loon state.


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