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At “Congressmen’s Wearhouse,” millionaires — not billionaires — can afford their own candidate. Candidates are available for custom-order, based on issues and stances: from open carry to denying climate change.

“All the latest styles, at prices you can afford,” promises the company’s CEO, in a perfect deadpan parody of Men’s Wearhouse former CEO George Zimmer, who has appeared in the retailer’s commercials for years.

Even better: “Congressmen’s Wearhouse” takes anything that remotely resembles money. Even Bitcoin. Boris Polanoff, who voices the ad, is part of the New York City-based Big Bad Boris.

“You’re going to like the way they vote,” he promises. “I guarantee it.”

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House Minority Leader Kevin McCarthy, left, and former President Donald Trump.

Photo by Kevin McCarthy (Public domain)

In the professional stratum of politics, few verities are treated with more reverence than the outcome of next year's midterm, when the Republican Party is deemed certain to recapture majorities in the House and Senate. With weary wisdom, any pol or pundit will cite the long string of elections that buttress this prediction.

Political history also tells us that many factors can influence an electoral result, including a national crisis or a change in economic conditions — in other words, things can change and even midterm elections are not entirely foretold. There have been a few exceptions to this rule, too.

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