Late Night Roundup: The ‘Presidential Penis Measuring Contest’

Late Night Roundup: The ‘Presidential Penis Measuring Contest’

The late night comics were aghast at the newest issue in the Republican primary campaign: Donald Trump’s insistence, in response to an accusation from Marco Rubio, that he really does have a large penis.

Stephen Colbert was in utter disbelief that the debate has reached this point: “We have officially reached a new low in political discourse — so let’s go to the chart. Okay, yes, we have sunk below Swift Boat, below secret Muslim, below John McCain’s illegitimate baby. And oh, we have shattered through the bottom of the chart — and it is burrowing through the Earth below the Ed Sullivan Theater; past the subway lines; it is now burrowing past Hillary Clinton’s secret email servers; it is burrowing past the Founding Fathers spinning in their graves; and all the way past the dinosaurs, to the center of the Earth. There it is, stopping at ‘Presidential Penis Measuring Contest.'”

Larry Wilmore objected so strongly to Donald Trump talking about his penis, that he teamed up with other comedians to debut a new hashtag: “#DickJokesMatter.”

“So ladies and gentleman, the great debate: Does Donald Trump have a small or large penis?” asked Trevor Noah. “I’ve gotta say, personally, I think it’s huge — after all, he’s using it to f@#k the entire Republican Party.”

Start your day with National Memo Newsletter

Know first.

The opinions that matter. Delivered to your inbox every morning

'I Think I'd Fall Asleep': Right-Wing Media Praise Trump Snoozing In Court

Former President Donald Trump

Former President Donald Trump

Donald Trump’s MAGA media propagandists are so deep in the tank for the former president that they’ve been praising him for repeatedly falling asleep during his New York City hush money trial.

Keep reading...Show less
Mitt Romney

Sen. Mitt Romney

Sen. Mitt Romney (R-UT) hasn't shied away from criticizing former President Donald Trump in the past. But on Tuesday he gave his frank and candid take on the allegations surrounding the ex-president's ongoing criminal trial.

Keep reading...Show less
{{ post.roar_specific_data.api_data.analytics }}