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Monday, December 09, 2019 {{ new Date().getDay() }}

The late night comics were aghast at the newest issue in the Republican primary campaign: Donald Trump’s insistence, in response to an accusation from Marco Rubio, that he really does have a large penis.

Stephen Colbert was in utter disbelief that the debate has reached this point: “We have officially reached a new low in political discourse — so let’s go to the chart. Okay, yes, we have sunk below Swift Boat, below secret Muslim, below John McCain’s illegitimate baby. And oh, we have shattered through the bottom of the chart — and it is burrowing through the Earth below the Ed Sullivan Theater; past the subway lines; it is now burrowing past Hillary Clinton’s secret email servers; it is burrowing past the Founding Fathers spinning in their graves; and all the way past the dinosaurs, to the center of the Earth. There it is, stopping at ‘Presidential Penis Measuring Contest.'”

Larry Wilmore objected so strongly to Donald Trump talking about his penis, that he teamed up with other comedians to debut a new hashtag: “#DickJokesMatter.”

“So ladies and gentleman, the great debate: Does Donald Trump have a small or large penis?” asked Trevor Noah. “I’ve gotta say, personally, I think it’s huge — after all, he’s using it to f@#k the entire Republican Party.”

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