Welcome to “This Week In Crazy,” The National Memo’s weekly update on the wildest attacks, conspiracy theories, and other loony behavior from the increasingly unhinged right wing. Starting with number five:
5. Lou Dobbs Tonight
On Wednesday, the Pew Research Center released a study finding that a record 40 percent of all households with children under the age of 18 include mothers who are their family’s primary source of income.
To put it mildly, the men at Fox were not pleased.
The all-male panel of Lou Dobbs Tonight flipped out over the report. Dobbs lamented “we’re watching society dissolve around us.” Juan Williams claimed that women working is evidence of “the disintegration of marriage” and “something going wrong in American society.”
But these answers paled in comparison to right-wing blogger Erick Erickson’s “scientific” breakdown:
“I am so used to liberals telling conservatives that they are anti-science. But I mean this is — liberals who defend this and say it’s not a bad thing are very anti-science. When you look at biology, look at the natural world, the roles of a male and female in society; in other animals the male typically is the dominant role, the female is not antithesis or is not competing; it’s a complementary role. We as people in a smart society have lost the ability to have complimentary relationships in nuclear families, and it’s tearing us apart.”
Erickson later upped the ante with a blog post on RedState.com, complaining that “many feminist and emo lefties have their panties in a wad over my statements in the past 24 hours about families.”
Liberals, it seems are of the sadly mistaken impression that all human beings, regardless of gender, have the right and ability to live as they wish. Au contraire, explains Professor Erickson:
Pro-science liberals seem to think basic nature and biology do not apply to Homo sapiens. Men can behave like women, women can behave like men, they can raise their kids, if they have them, in any way they see fit, and everything will turn out fine in the liberal fantasy world.
Except in the real world it does not work out that way.
One wouldn’t think that a man who once referred to U.S. Supreme Court Justice David Souter as a “goat f***ing child molester” could still shock people with his ignorance… yet here we are.
4. Adam Kokesh
AP Photo/New Bedford Standard Times
There’s good news and bad news when it comes to right-wing radio host Adam Kokesh. The good: He has cancelled his planned armed march on Washington for “gun rights.” The bad: He hopes to replace it with an armed revolution.
Kokesh shared his new plan on noted conspiracy theorist Pete Santilli‘s radio show. During the interview, Kokesh read from a press release that calls for “a new American revolution” in which “the American Revolutionary Army will march on each state capital to demand that the governors of these 50 states immediately initiate the process of an orderly dissolution of the federal government through secession and reclamation of federally held property.”
He also warned that “should one whole year from this July 4th pass while the crimes of this government are allowed to continue, we may have passed the point at which non-violent revolution becomes impossible,” and cryptically added that this is the “last chance to do it the easy way.”
Audio of Kokesh’s crazy proclamation can be heard at Media Matters.
3. Glenn Beck
Professional crazy person Glenn Beck checks in at number three this week for one of his greatest conspiracy theories yet.
According to Beck, the lamestream media has united in a massive conspiracy to label Glenn Beck as a conspiracy theorist. Who started this incredibly meta plot? You guessed it: Cass Sunstein.
This being Beck, the conspiracy theory that there is a conspiracy to label him as a conspiracy theorist may not have even been his craziest moment of the week. That honor may belong to his solemn sendoff to his fellow This Week In Crazy all-star, Michele Bachmann.
2. Todd Akin
AP Photo/Jeff Roberson, File
Todd Akin isn’t the first name that comes to mind when one thinks “brilliant political strategist.” But that didn’t stop the former congressman from offering his fellow Republicans some unsolicited campaign advice.
Writing in — where else? — WorldNetDaily, Akin made the case that the GOP is not right-wing enough.
“Like a patient with an injury, the Republican Party is surrounded by many advising doctors who prescribe conflicting ‘cures,'” writes Akin, who apparently learned nothing from the last time that he decided to share a theory on medical science. “The Republican Party should boldly stand on its conservative values,” Akin continues. “This is the true cure.” Of course, Missouri voters seem to disagree.
It only gets crazier from there. Among other deranged claims, Akin writes, “the Soviet Union provided their citizens with food, health care, housing, education, and employment, the same things liberals are doing here in the U.S.” To Akin, that clearly means that Democratic gulags are right around the corner.
At one point, Akin compares himself to “the conservative Republican Presidents Lincoln, Coolidge, Eisenhower and Reagan,” who were all popular because “they had a passion and confidence from standing on principle.”
“A ‘fire in the bones’ is more convincing than dry statistics,” the political pariah insists. While he may not be a future Abraham Lincoln, he does at least put his money where his mouth is — nobody could ever accuse Akin of over-relying on stats.
Somehow, Akin’s column was not the craziest thing to appear in WorldNetDaily’s ridiculous right-wing conspiracy repository this week. That honor goes to a series of columns trashing the Boy Scouts of America’s decision to allow openly gay Scouts (although gay Scout leaders remain banned). To many observers, this represents a disappointing compromise. To WND, it’s basically the apocalypse.
The site has published several outrageous columns responding to the decision, excerpts of which can be read at Media Matters. Among other absurd claims, Liberty Council spokesman Matt Barber claims that the decision was “rooted in pure evil,” and right-wing pundit Mychal Massie insisted that the Scouts are “knowingly giving predators and the deluded access to our boys,” who will surely be “coerced into homosexual behavior.”
But Judith Reisman outdid them all, with her ludicrous column titled “Boy Scouts As Pederastic Cotton Candy.”
“Now bigger and/or more manipulative lads, with cell phones and other pornography resources stirring their sinews, will greedily entrap any and all boys who seem easy prey,” Reisman writes.
“Eroticize the campsite and you eroticize boys to one another and to their leaders,” she continues. “‘Gay Scoutmasters’ will arrive soon to ‘help’ ‘their’ lads, to train and encourage them — to believe they are naturally ‘that way.'”
In this case, Reisman’s excessive use of scare quotes is actually completely appropriate. Because after reading her unhinged column, I’m officially terrified of Judith Reisman.