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Welcome to “This Week In Crazy,” The National Memo’s weekly update on the wildest attacks, conspiracy theories, and other loony behavior from the increasingly unhinged right wing. Starting with number five:

5. Rush Limbaugh

Last week, Megyn Kelly “won” first place on the list for her odd insistence that Santa Claus — who, just to reiterate, is not a real person — is white.

This week, Rush Limbaugh takes the number five spot for sharing his own opinion on the subject. As you may have imagined, it’s basically just a less informed version of Kelly’s point.

“In every portrayal since the beginning of Santa Claus, Santa Claus is white,” Limbaugh — who apparently doesn’t know how to do a Google image search — insisted.

“This is worse than political correctness,” he continued. “This is Stalinism.”

Of course, Limbaugh’s warning that black Santas are actually leading us towards a communist dictatorship loses some of its shock value when one considers that Limbaugh thinks pretty much everything is Stalinist.

But if it makes Rush feel better, at least everyone seems to agree that Stalin was a white guy.
4. JR Hoell

JR Hoell

Screenshot: YouTube

Following Stella Tremblay and Jack Kimball in New Hampshire’s not-so-proud tradition of deranged politicians, state representative JR Hoell (R-Dunbarton) expressed his opposition to a potential Scott Brown Senate run like any good Tea Partier would: with a Second Amendment remedy.

As miscellany: blue reports, Hoell issued the following warning during a Sunday radio appearance:

“We’re not here to threaten anybody. We’re here standing on our soapbox as opposed to standing with our ammo box in hand to make a point politically. The message needs to get out that Scott Brown does not represent New Hampshire,” he said ominously.

“If things continue the way they are, there may be a day or time where firearms and ammo are necessary,” he added. “It happened in the Revolutionary War. I’d like to think we’re not there yet, but as things continue to unravel, that may be the next step.”

Hoell’s enthusiasm is admirable, but he probably shouldn’t waste his ammo on a reliable Republican vote like Scott Brown. After all, you never know when United Nations soldiers could come flying down I-91.

3. Bob Vander Plaats

Bob Vander Plaats

Photo: Here In Iowa via Flickr

Right-wing activist and potential Senate candidate Bob Vander Plaats hates to say “I told you so,” but unfortunately he has no choice. You see, a recent court decision striking down part of Utah’s ban on polygamy can only mean one thing: Gay marriage has ruined all marriage forever!

“When you remove God’s design and parameters, there’s no limit to what we’ll invent to be our freedoms,” Vander Plaats warned Des Moines radio host Jan Mickelson on Tuesday. In fact, Vander Plaats has a theory on what’s coming next. You guessed it: Parents marrying their own children… for a sweet tax break.

“I’m saying that’s not going to be a limit there either, whether it be polygamy. Because it’s also about a parent marrying their child – of age, marrying their child,” Vander Plaats said. “Sex probably not even being involved, but I love the child, I want to pass on — again, the welfare state – I want to pass on my estate to a married spouse without the tax implications, that can happen.”

Damn you, welfare state!

Audio of Vander Plaats’ remarks is available at Right Wing Watch.
2. Bob Rucho

North Carolina state senator Bob Rucho — who holds the startling distinction of being too right wing for North Carolina’s crazy government — became the latest politician to prove Godwin’s Law, when he took to Twitter on Sunday morning to make the following argument:

After several Twitter users pointed out that — unlike the Nazis, John Roberts and the Affordable Care Act have not yet killed hundreds of thousands of Americans — Rucho offered a curious defense of his attack.

While you put your thinking caps on to consider that, keep in mind that these weren’t even the stupidest things that Rucho has tweeted in the past month.

1. Larry Klayman

This week’s “winner” is once again right-wing activist Larry Klayman.

Although Klayman’s plan to overthrow the president didn’t work out, he did win a smaller victory against the White House this week when a federal judge ruled against the National Security Agency’s bulk metadata collection. Klayman had served as a plaintiff in the lawsuit that led to the decision.

After the ruling, CNN decided to interview Klayman. They presumably realized their mistake almost instantly.

“I think it is important to note that you’re a big supporter of Obama,” Klayman told host Don Lemon as soon as the interview began. “You’re an ultra-leftist and you’re a big supporter of Obama.”

The interview quickly descended into a war of words, which CNN legal analyst Jeffrey Toobin won when he pointed out that the basis of Klayman’s lawsuit — that the government has been sending emails from his account — is completely absurd.

“This case is based on Larry Klayman’s tin-foil hat paranoia about the NSA being after him. He had some fantasy that the NSA was after him. This case is not about Larry Klayman, it’s about the metadata program that affects everybody, but the idea that Larry Klayman is the representative is simply outrageous,” Toobin insisted. “He is a professional litigant and lunatic who should not be a representative of the very important issues of this case.”

Shortly thereafter, Klayman’s mic was cut, and the embarrassing interview mercifully came to an end.

Klayman couldn’t be silenced, however. In an interview with Joseph Farah’s WorldNetDaily, Klayman revealed the true cause of his disastrous interview: Barack Obama, Bill Clinton, and the Democratic National Committee.

“Obama and the Clintons know this was a key decision, and they don’t want us to have any oxygen,” he told fellow conspiracy theorist Jerome Corsi. “The DNC wants to cut me down to size.”

In the extremely unlikely scenario that Klayman is right, the DNC should pat itself on the back for a job well done.

Check out previous editions of This Week In Crazy here. Think we missed something? Let us know in the comments!

Donald Trump has been hit with yet another allegation of sexual assault, the Guardian reported on Thursday.

Amy Dorris, a former model, said Trump kissed and groped her without her consent during the 1997 US Open tennis tournament in New York.

She is at least the 42nd woman to accuse Trump of sexual assault or rape.

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