Since 2009, 95 percent of income gains have gone to the top 1 percent, and Stephen Colbert wants to know what happened to the rest.

“Folks, that’s just wrong,” he said on his show Tuesday night. “The 1 percent should get 99 percent.”

But don’t worry. He has a plan to protect the richest from the moochers hooked on the “narcotics” of entitlements — and it involves hair, breast milk and kidneys.

“Why suckle on Uncle Sam’s teat, when you have your own teat?”