Carl Hiaasen shares the latest ridiculous news to come out of Florida politics in his new column, “Why Some Fla. Lawmakers Are In Panic:”

An absolutely true news item: Having passed a law allowing gun owners to bring their weapons inside the state Capitol building, the Florida Senate has hastily installed panic buttons on the office phone of every senator and staff member.

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This is an open letter from concerned members of the Florida House of Representatives to the Sergeant of Arms:

We couldn’t help but notice that our colleagues in the Senate were provided with enhanced security measures as a result of our controversial — but patriotic! — decision to allow licensed owners of concealed weapons to carry their loaded guns through the corridors of the Capitol.

As everybody knows, the legislation wasn’t our idea. It was written by lobbyists for the National Rifle Association, a fine organization that isn’t nearly as crazed and paranoid as some people make it out to be. Also, the NRA contributes generously to most of our political campaigns, which is why we blindly do whatever it tells us to do.