The National  Memo Logo

Smart. Sharp. Funny. Fearless.

Monday, December 09, 2019 {{ new Date().getDay() }}

“Since I have nothing to do — and the fact you’re watching thismakes me assume you have nothing to do — I’m going to shoot a mini-monologueevery day until we get back from my house, where I’m currently incarcerated. Imean camping out.”

Thus did Jimmy Kimmel commence his new post-apocalypse programming with a remote #minilogue.

Stuck in the house, Kimmel says he’s learning a lot about himself. For instance, he discovered that he has two young children (from whom he’s currently hiding in his office).

“Thank God for television. Right now my blood type is Disney-positive, Disney Plus, whatever they call it. We’ve watched Frozen 2 more times than the animators who made it have watched Frozen 2.”

He has plenty of ideas for those of us sheltering in place, which means almost everybody. “Did you know that you can make coffee at home, for yourself?” Plus hot tips for St. Patrick’s Day without bars or parades.

Click and laugh against the darkness.

Advertising

Start your day with National Memo Newsletter

Know first.

The opinions that matter. Delivered to your inbox every morning

Donald Trump

In a meandering speech Wednesday, former President Donald Trump talked up the congressional testimony of a former aide alleging his assault on a Secret Service agent, saying "a lot of people" thought it made him look "physically tough."

Keep reading... Show less

Jeff Danziger lives in New York City. He is represented by CWS Syndicate and the Washington Post Writers Group. He is the recipient of the Herblock Prize and the Thomas Nast (Landau) Prize. He served in the US Army in Vietnam and was awarded the Bronze Star and the Air Medal. He has published eleven books of cartoons, a novel and a memoir. Visit him at DanzigerCartoons.

{{ post.roar_specific_data.api_data.analytics }}