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Jimmy Fallon portrayed “Donald Trump,” to have a very special heart-to-heart talk — with the cast of the newly-relaunched sitcom Fuller House on Netflix. “I have to stay in the race. Otherwise a Clinton will be in the White House again. I mean, who wants to see something from the ’90s come back in 2016?”

Meanwhile, Stephen Colbert actually spoke on the phone with Donald Trump (yes, it really was him) about the latter’s use of obscenities on the campaign trail. “I’ve got a suggestion: Why don’t you have a swear jar,” Stephen said. Every time you say a bad word, you put a billion dollars in it.”

Jimmy Kimmel sat down with Sec. of State John Kerry, to talk about how politics mixes with his job of leading America’s foreign relations. “I’m out of politics now,” Kerry said. “And judging by the Republican field, half of them are, too.”

Seth Meyers highlighted Donald Trump’s brutal criticisms of former President George W. Bush at this past weekend’s debate, on the issues of national security: “That’s right, after months of making racist comments at Republican debates, he finally got booed — for saying George w. Bush was president on 9/11.” But at the same time, Seth examined Trump’s claims that he opposed the Iraq War from the start — and he really, really didn’t.


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Dr. Mehmet Oz

Sean Parnell, the Trump-anointed candidate for Senate in Pennsylvania, dropped out of the race a week ago after a custody hearing that featured lurid details of his relationship with his ex-wife. Laurie Snell alleged that Parnell had struck her, choked her, left her by the side of the road and hit one of their sons hard enough to leave a welt on the boy's back. Parnell countered that she had invented all of it.

Custody battles are infamous for exaggerated accusations and heated denials, and it's difficult for outsiders to know whom to believe and how much. But Parnell's comments off the witness stand didn't burnish his credibility. Appearing on Fox Nation, for example, Parnell opined, "I feel like the whole 'happy wife, happy life' nonsense has done nothing but raise one generation of woman tyrants after the next." He wasn't finished. "Now there's an entire generation of men that don't want to put up with the BS of a high-maintenance, narcissistic woman." Well. Someone seems to be dealing with anger issues. The would-be — er, rather, won't-be — senator concluded with a short sermon on biology: "From an evolutionary standpoint, it used to be, you know, women were attracted to your strength because you could defend them from dinosaurs." Where does the GOP find these geniuses?

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