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Monday, December 09, 2019

Late Night Roundup: Santa Claus Is Scared Of America

Larry Wilmore took a look at one of the hottest gifts in America this holiday season — guns, which sold in record amounts on Black Friday. And now our country’s insatiable gun fever has gotten so bad, Santa Claus doesn’t want to take his chances popping down any of America’s chimneys this Christmas.

Trevor Noah showed a very special highlight reel of President Obama — making the exact same plea for gun control legislation, after each high-profile mass shooting during his presidency. But only one thing has changed in the last seven years: He’s gotten a lot older.

Jimmy Kimmel showed a sneak preview video of Donald Trump’s upcoming medical report — for which The Donald has actually promised, “It will show perfection.” Though perhaps the gold-plated sphincter is going a little too far.

Conan O’Brien: “In New York, federal authorities have seized 274 pairs of shoes made from endangered species. The shoes were made from rhino horn, crocodile skin — and Jeb Bush supporters.”

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Tape of home invasion attack on Nancy Pelosi's husband Paul Pelosi

Youtube Screenshot

Video released Friday of the harrowing home invasion and assault that nearly killed then-Speaker Nancy Pelosi’s husband in October brought little in the way of self-reflection or regret from far-right Internet trolls and Fox News stars who spent months baselessly insisting that the attack had actually resulted from a gay tryst gone wrong. Instead, the denizens of the right-wing conspiracy theory ecosystem either claimed that the new evidence proved that they were right all along, or used it to float additional conspiracy theories about why it hadn’t been released earlier.

The key facts were available within hours of the October 28, 2022, attack. Law enforcement swiftly alleged that David DePape broke into the Democratic leader’s home in the middle of the night seeking to harm her and pummeled her 82-year-old husband Paul, sending him to the hospital for emergency surgery. Journalists who reviewed DePape’s Internet history subsequently revealed that he had been radicalized online and espoused a wide array of right-wing conspiracy theories, including QAnon.

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