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Herman Cain Went To Tulsa Rally Without Mask— Now In Hospital With Covid-19

Reprinted with permission from Alternet

Herman Cain, the former Godfather's Pizza CEO who ran in the 2012 Republican presidential primary, has been hospitalized with COVID-19 in Atlanta.

According to a statement posted on the 74-year-old Cain's Twitter account, the far-right Tea Party activist — who President Donald Trump, at one point, considered for the position of Federal Reserve chairman— was diagnosed with coronavirus on Monday. And on Wednesday, his symptoms had grown worse and "required hospitalization."

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Trump Withdraws Moore Fed Nomination With Abrupt Tweet

Reprinted with permission from Alternet.

It’s a sad story of two nominees to the Federal Reserve Board of Governors who were never really nominees at all.

President Donald Trump announced that CNN analyst Stephen Moore and former presidential candidate Herman Cain would be his next picks for Fed. Both are personal supporters of the president and, not coincidentally, they are both right-wing hacks with wacky — and often blatantly wrong — views of economics. Both also had disturbing personal histories, which appears to be what tanked both of their nominations — nominations that were never even officially sent to the Senate.

The tanking of Moore’s nomination on Thursday was particularly humiliating for a man Trump supposedly considers a friend. Early in the day, Bloomberg News published a story about Moore projecting confidence about his chances for confirmation.

“I’m all in,” Moore had told the outlet.

“My biggest ally is the president,” he said. “He’s full speed ahead.”

Just about two hours later, Trump ended his hopes for the role on Twitter.

Of course, the writing had been on the wall for days, and there was always reason to believe his nomination would be a struggle. In the past week, senators were openly talking about his dwindling chances, citing his misogynistic comments, racism, and dubious financial history — including unpaid taxes and alimony.

Cain, too, has a damaging history — there have been at least four different allegations of sexual harassment against him. Cain retained a small measure of his dignity by at least appearing to withdrawn voluntarily from consideration, rather than being directly undercut by the president.

Somewhat unfortunately, though, it didn’t seem that Moore’s and Cain’s rank partisanship and unfounded economic beliefs would have been enough to disqualify them on their own. This raises concerns about whether Trump may be able to successfully put forward other charlatans for the Fed if they happen to have less baggage.


Fed Nominee Cain Touted Penny Stocks That Are Now Worthless

Reprinted with permission from Media Matters.

Herman Cain, whom President Donald Trump is recommending to the Federal Reserve Board, has sent numerous sponsored emails to his mailing list promoting penny stocks that are now virtually worthless.

Cain is a right-wing commentator and former chair of the Federal Reserve Bank of Kansas City. He previously ran for president but dropped out after several women reported him for sexual misconduct. The Washington Post reported on April 4 that “Sharon Bialek, who said Cain had reached beneath her skirt in 1997 and tried to pull her head toward his crotch, said Thursday that his record of harassment should disqualify him from the Fed post.”

In the years since his presidential campaign, Cain has turned his mailing list into a vehicle for scammy email promotions. In January, Media Matters documented numerous financial grift emails that Cain sent to his list. Cain also recently founded a pro-Trump PAC with Floyd Brown, a right-wing birther who produced the racist Willie Horton ad attacking Michael Dukakis in the 1988 presidential election. The PAC recently attacked the 12 Republican senators who voted against Trump’s emergency border declaration as “traitors” who can’t be trusted “to defend President Trump.”

Cain has also repeatedly touted penny stocks to his email subscribers. The U.S. Securities and Exchange Commission defines “penny stock” as generally referring “to a security issued by a very small company that trades at less than $5 per share” and says such stocks are “generally considered speculative investments.” The penny stock market is riddled with unsavory practices and fraud, especially because of paid promoters who attempt to pump up the price of penny stocks for the benefit of themselves and their employers.

Andrew Calamari, then-director of the SEC’s New York office, said in 2014: “If we had a message to deliver, it would be that this is a very dangerous market for retail investors and that they should tread very, very carefully.”

Media Matters has received numerous sponsored emails from Herman Cain promoting penny stocks which are now virtually worthless. Those emails, which were not written by Cain, told readers of countless future financial rewards, including turning “$5,000 into more than $40,000 within a few short months”; making “ten-times your money or better”; and becoming “multi-millionaires in the process.”

Cain’s penny stock mailings also include pitches from disgraced penny stock fraudster Tobin Smith, who was so corrupt that Fox News fired him in 2013 for violating a policy against paid stock promotions. In 2016, the SEC announced that Smith “agreed to settle charges that he and his company fraudulently promoted a penny stock [IceWEB Inc.] to investors” and “agreed to be barred from involvement in any future penny stock offerings.”

Here are 10 examples of Cain’s mailing list sending sponsored emails which touted now-virtually-worthless penny stocks. (Note: Because of the transient nature of penny stock promotions and the passage of time, many of the original images in the emails are no longer available.)

Virtus Oil & Gas (VOIL) “could yield stratospheric gains for shareholders who move in immediately”

See the email, sent on 9/17/14, here.

Sample sales pitch from the sponsored email, which was written by The Wall Street Revelator’s Andrew Carpenter:

Virtus Oil & Gas VOIL suddenly finds itself conservatively valued in excess of $70.71 a share*…

And you can buy VOIL right now for around $1.50!

Opportunities like this don’t come often. It’s big, it’s unprecedented, and it’s happening right now. I urge you to follow up immediately. Virtus Oil & Gas VOIL could yield stratospheric gains for shareholders who move in immediately.

Current stock price: $0.025.

American Heritage International (AHII) “could easily double or triple in the next 18-24 months”

See the email, sent on 4/10/14, here.

Sample sales pitch from the sponsored email, which was written by BottomLine Newsletter’s John Person:

Disruptive technologies have the ability to change society, revolutionize entire industries, and turn savvy investors into multi-millionaires in the process.

American Heritage (AHII) is, in my opinion, destined to become one of the leaders in the fast-growing electronic cigarette business. Currently trading for about $1-2, the stock could easily double or triple in the next 18-24 months if the company remains independent.

Current stock price: $0.00.

Ener-Core (ENCR) could be “the NEXT 884% Industrial Cleantech monster winner”

See the email, sent on 4/7/14, here.

Sample sales pitch from the sponsored email, which was written by Next Big Thing Investor PRO’s Tobin Smith:

The Simple Investment Case for Ener-Core (ENCR): 2.50 dollars to 3.00 dollars over the Next 12 Months

I discovered this company from one of the only investment banks that covers smaller industrial clean technology companies.

These analysts (who are top drawer in the clean tech world) published an Ener-Core (ENCR)12-month price target of 2.50 dollars in the beginning of 2014.

But I truly think their target price is too conservative in the short term–3 dollars is reasonable given that the company is OUT of its proof-of-concept stage and ramping up revenues in 2014 with a hockey-stick type sales ramp in 2015.


You will need to act quickly on this…you’ve seen how as these Industrial Cleantech stocks get discovered many have exploded in value in a matter of weeks and months.

The key to your chance for catching the NEXT 884% Industrial Cleantech monster winner is of course to be in the stock at today’s prices…but you know that.

Current stock price: $0.10.

Centor Energy (CNTO) could “climb to $25 and from there onwards to $100”

See the email, sent on 2/5/14, here.

Sample sales pitch from the sponsored email, which was written by The Myers Letter’s John Myers:

Centor Energy (CNTO) just went public. Shares are now around $1, and as my just-released Special Report reveals, early investors are looking at a 1,200% winner.

I’m John Myers and I’m going on record saying CNTO is set to jump from $1 to $8. And that’s my short-term outlook. Longer term could see the stock climb to $25 and from there onwards to $100.

Current stock price: $0.0011.

KonaRed (KRED) “could turn $5,000 into more than $40,000 within a few short months”

See the email, sent on 1/29/14, here.

Sample sales pitch from the sponsored email, which was written by The Bowser Report’s Thomas Rice:

Recommendation: KonaRed (KRED)

Rated: Speculative Buy

Current Price: $0.70

Initial Target: $4.50

Long-Term Target: $8.00

KonaRed is already selling at Wal-Mart, Walgreens, Albertson’’s, 7-11 and other giant retailers in Hawaii. Now, this breakthrough sensation and the company that makes it, KonaRed (KRED) is ready for prime time. It is looking at rolling out all across the U.S. mainland! Investors are thrilled -– KRED is still under $1. Buy now!

FREE report reveals how early KRED investors (such as you!) could turn $5,000 into more than $40,000 within a few short months.

Current stock price: $0.0151.

Endeavor (ENIP) could “turn $10,000 into $757,200”

See the email, sent on 12/24/13, here.

Sample sponsored email claim, which was written by The Kolber Report’s Jonathan Kolber:

Endeavor IP (OTCBB: ENIP) represents the hottest company I’ve seen in decades. I believe ENIP is a company with little downside… and a strong likelihood of seeing an extraordinarily high upside become a reality.

P.S. Make no mistake…it takes just one company to cut a deal – or attempt a buyout – and shares of Endeavor IP (OTCBB: ENIP) could potentially move so quickly you wouldn’™t [sic] have time to get in. That’s why it’s so important that you act now – before the window closes – to avoid missing out on what could be your second chance to turn $10,000 into $757,200 just like investors in patent stock VHC!

Current stock price: $0.00.

North American Oil & Gas (NAMG) could “make ten-times your money or better”

See the email, sent on 8/19/13, here.

Sample sponsored email claim, which was written by Champlain Media’s Tobin Smith:

Strike now and you stand to make ten-times your money or better with this off-radar newcomer:

North American Oil & Gas (NAMG)!

This is an urgent buy recommendation to act on immediately!

Current stock price: $0.00.

National Graphite Corp (NGRC) could turn $2,000 into $132,000 “in just months!”

See the email, sent on 6/18/13, here.

Sample sales pitch from the sponsored email, which was written by James Rapholz of James Rapholz’s Economic Advice:

Cash in on the Greatest Materials Bonanza Since the Invention of Plastic!

Can you imagine investing $2,000 in National Graphite Corp (NGRC) and walking away with $132,000? It’s not only possible…

I think it could happen in just months!

P.S. Graphite is such a modern-era commodity, watching this 40 cent stock hit $13.20 is certainly possible. Last century steel played the same role as a breakthrough material. And it was.

Current stock price: $0.06.

Petrosonic (PSON) “could turn $10,000 into $50,000”

See the email, sent on 5/13/13, here.

Sample sponsored email claim, which was written by NBT Equity Group’s Tobin Smith:

• How this little-known breakthrough technology could help make the U.S. the world’s #1 Oil producer by 2017.

• How this same revolutionary technology could be about to add some 6 trillion barrels oil to the world’s recoverable reserves.

• Why Obama and the environmentalists will absolutely love it.

• Why you really could turn $10,000 into $50,000 in the next 6-1`2 [sic] months if you act now!

Buy Petrosonic (PSON) now while you can still get it at less than $1 and . . .

Look for $3.50 to $4.00 in six months or less!

Hang on for a big-oil takeover that could rocket PSON as high as $30.95!

Current stock price: $0.0001.

Polar Petroleum (POLR) could hand investors “near-term gains of up to 1,800%”

See the email, sent on 5/10/13, here.

Sample sponsored email claim, which was written by Hard Asset Report’s Ken Williams:

Investors are buying this stock up to $10 per share… with a $20 price target

Polar Petroleum (POLR) may be about to hand us a massive windfall, like we witnessed on Carrizo Oil (5,500%), Denbury Resources (3,400%) and Northern Oil (1,100%).

Polar Petroleum (POLR) could blow-the-doors off all three of these stocks…

Astute investors are buying shares in Polar Petroleum now for near-term gains of up to 1,800%

Current stock price: $0.0001.

IMAGE: Photo of Herman Cain by Gage Skidmore via Flickr.

#EndorseThis: Colbert Burns Pizza Boss Herman Cain

The Trump regime isn’t quite as diverting as it once was, without characters like Steve Bannon and Sean Spicer in the White House. But the return of Herman Cain — as a Federal Reserve Bank nominee, no less — is wacky enough to perk up Stephen Colbert.

Reviewing Cain’s roller-coaster 2012 presidential campaign, Stephen screens the weird “smile” ad. But what may block his Fed nomination is the same problem that derailed him back then. He can’t pass a background check because too many women complain about his leering harassment.

Oh snap. Click and laugh.

Fed Nominee Herman Cain’s PAC Called GOP Senators ‘Traitors’

Reprinted with permission from Media Matters.

Herman Cain, who is reportedly President Donald Trump’s nominee for a Federal Reserve Board seat that would require a Senate confirmation vote, founded a pro-Trump PAC with a right-wing birther that called 12 Republican senators “traitors” who can’t be trusted “to defend President Trump.”

Cain is a conservative commentator and former chair of the Federal Reserve Bank of Kansas City who previously ran for president but dropped out after several women reported him for sexual misconduct. He helped start America Fighting Back PAC last year to support Trump and his agenda. The organization’s chairman is right-wing commentator and consultant Floyd Brown, a birther who produced the racist Willie Horton ad attacking Michael Dukakis in the 1988 presidential election and said Obama “hates Christianity” and “is a Muslim” (Obama is a Christian).

The PAC recently sent an email attempting to raise money from readers by attacking the 12 Republican senators who voted against President Trump’s emergency border declaration. Those senators are: Lamar Alexander (TN), Roy Blunt (MO), Susan Collins (ME), Mike Lee (UT), Jerry Moran (KS), Lisa Murkowski (AK), Rand Paul (KY), Rob Portman (OH), Mitt Romney (UT), Marco Rubio (FL), Pat Toomey (PA), and Roger Wicker (MS).

Brown sent a March 28 email stating that “Herman Cain founded America Fighting Back PAC because he couldn’t trust establishment Republicans to defend President Trump. It turns out he was RIGHT.” The email added:

12 Senate Republicans tried to sabotage President Trump’s national emergency to build the wall.

America Fighting Back PAC will NEVER forget that, so we’re creating a RINO TARGET FUND that we will use to fire these 12 backstabbers IF they ever cross President Trump — and you — again.

The email links to a donation page stating: “Now that 12 RINO Senators stabbed President Trump in the back, we need your help. Please make a contribution to our RINO TARGET FUND right now — and we’ll show these 12 traitors how much we’ve raised as a WARNING never to cross the American people again.”

Trump Proves GOP Proclamations Of Mortal Affront Untrue

In 2006, then-Arizona State Sen. Russell Pearce advocated the return of a 1954 program for the mass deportation of undocumented immigrants. It was called “Operation Wetback.”

In 2010, Sen. David Vitter, Republican from Louisiana, released a campaign ad that depicted a bunch of seedy-looking Mexicans, some with gang bandannas, slipping through a hole in a border fence to invade America.

In 2011, Rep. Mo Brooks, Republican from Alabama, said of undocumented immigrants: “I will do anything short of shooting them” to make them stop “taking jobs from American citizens.”

That same year, Republican presidential contender Herman Cain vowed to build an electrified border fence that would shock Mexicans who sought to slip into the country.

In 2013, Rep. Steve King, Republican from Iowa, said that for every illegal immigrant who becomes a valedictorian, there are another hundred with “calves the size of cantaloupes” because they are drug mules.

Yet the party is shocked and offended by what Donald Trump said? Jeb Bush calls his recent comments on undocumented Mexican immigrants “extraordinarily ugly”? Sen. Marco Rubio finds them “not just offensive and inaccurate, but also divisive”? A major donor tells the Associated Press Trump should be excluded from the debates?

Beg pardon, but there is something rather precious in all this ostentatious umbrage. If you didn’t know better, you might forget that the GOP has sought votes for years by stoking fear and anger toward Mexicans who enter this country illegally. If you weren’t paying attention, you might not know that various Republican officials and pundits routinely characterize those people — most of them just dirt poor and trying to put bread on the table — as a disease-ridden invasion force of drug smugglers and gang members, not to mention pregnant women splashing across the Rio Grande in order to drop so-called “anchor babies” on U.S. soil.

This is not to say Trump’s words were not ugly. They were. “When Mexico sends its people, they’re not sending their best,” he said. “…They’re sending people that have lots of problems and they’re bringing those problems [to] us. They’re bringing drugs, they’re bringing crime, they’re rapists, and some, I assume, are good people.”

But ugly as it was, Trump’s xenophobia broke no new ground. So you have to wonder at the pious denunciations it is generating. You’re tempted to say people are reacting like this because Trump was blunter than we are used to. On the other hand, there is nothing particularly subtle or ambiguous about threatening to shock Mexicans. Maybe folks weren’t paying attention before.

It’s worth noting that Trump’s comments came as he announced his intention to run for President of the United States, a nation whose last census found about 32 million of us identifying as Mexican-American (some, presumably, good people). Indeed, Mexican-Americans are far and away the largest group under the umbrella rubric “Hispanic.” All the Cuban-, Puerto Rican-, Argentinean-, and Spanish-Americans combined don’t equal the number of Mexican-Americans in this country. So when the GOP talks about “Hispanic” outreach, it is, in a very real sense, talking Mexican-American outreach. Yet this “outreach” seems always to be overshadowed by insult.

The party seems not to realize that you can’t have it both ways, can’t insult people, then ask them to vote for you. How telling is it that, even as party elders assure us his remarks don’t represent the GOP, Trump vaults to second place in the polling of Republican contenders? It’s a truth that gives the lie to these proclamations of mortal affront.

It’s hypocritical and unfair to put all this on Trump. He only repeated what his party’s been saying all along.

(Leonard Pitts is a columnist for The Miami Herald, 1 Herald Plaza, Miami, FL, 33132. Readers may contact him via email at

Photo: Gage Skidmore via Flickr

The 5 Fakest 2016 Presidential Contenders

Photo: Gage Skidmore via Flickr

Photo: Gage Skidmore via Flickr

Floating your name as a potential presidential candidate has always been a good way to get attention in Washington, DC. But recently, politicians like Newt Gingrich and Herman Cain have turned seeking the White House as a vehicle to make a quick buck into an art form.

Plenty of implausible candidates have already suggested that they may run in 2016. Most are just looking for attention, or a quick fundraising boost. Some will pursue their longshot bids all the way to the (hopefully musical) end. But none have a prayer of actually reaching the Oval Office.

Here are the five fakest 2016 presidential candidates, so far:
George Pataki

Photo: Jim Harper via Wikimedia Commons

Photo: Jim Harper via Wikimedia Commons

Remember former New York governor George Pataki? Apparently, David Koch does.

As the New York Post reported on Tuesday, Pataki “is privately gearing up for a 2016 presidential run,” and huddled with Koch this week at the Four Seasons, presumably to discuss a potential campaign.

If this sounds familiar, it may be because Pataki publicly flirted with entering both the 2008 and 2012 races.

Of course, a 69-year-old, pro-choice, pro-gun-control moderate who hasn’t held office in eight years seems unlikely to capture the Republican presidential nomination. But pretending to run couldn’t hurt the fundraising efforts of his SuperPAC, which currently has only $5,946 in cash on hand.

Allen West

Photo: Gage Skidmore via Flickr

Photo: Gage Skidmore via Flickr

Former Florida congressman Allen West, who sees himself as a modern-day Abraham Lincoln, floated a presidential run back in May.

“I will always be a servant to this great nation, and any way that God believes I can serve America, I will,” West told a crowd in Georgia. “We will see what he has in store for me, because I think he maybe is getting me ready for something else.”

Unfortunately for West, candidates who cite God as their campaign chairman have a pretty poor track record in presidential races. And West, who subscribes to all manner of crazy conspiracies, would probably be a tough sell to the American public.

But if West wants to aim a bit lower, maybe there could be a spot for him in the current administration.

Carly Fiorina

Photo: Antônio Milena via Wikimedia Commons

Photo: Antônio Milena via Wikimedia Commons

Since her 2010 Senate bid ended in failure, former Hewlett-Packard CEO Carly Fiorina has kept busy stumping for Republican candidates and trying to end accusations that Republicans are waging a “war on women” (it’s not going well).

But as the National Journal reported last week, she may have bigger plans:

She’s been to New Hampshire three times and South Carolina once. She’s heading to Iowa this weekend, and then North Carolina and Michigan after that. Clearly, Carly Fiorina is thinking about 2016.

But is anybody thinking about Carly Fiorina?

The answer to that question is almost certainly no; her name recognition across the country is nearly nonexistent, and her losing 2010 campaign was basically the Mitt Romney “hire a businessman” pitch, but with weirder ads:

Then again, it worked for Cain.

Donald Trump

Photo: Gage Skidmore via Flickr

Photo: Gage Skidmore via Flickr

Despite the overwhelming evidence that he will never actually run a campaign, Donald Trump is still pretending that 2016 will be the year that he finally steps up to save America.

“I’m looking, I’m gonna see,” Trump told Fox News’ Sean Hannity when asked about a 2016 bid. Previously, he had suggested that he’d spend “whatever it took” to reach the White House.

Hillary Clinton surely has her fingers crossed.

Sarah Palin

Gage Skidmore via Flickr

Gage Skidmore via Flickr

Yes, former Alaska half-term governor turned vice-presidential candidate turned reality TV star turned drunken brawler Sarah Palin still wants you to think she might run for president.

“It sounds cliché, but you never say never,” Palin told Fox News’ Greta van Susteren in March. “Now, I — at this point in time, I don’t have a team of people, you know, getting out there doing these poll-tested whatever they do to let you know if you should run or not. I don’t have any of that kind of organization going. I’ll never say never.”

Even by the standards of this list, however, a Palin run seems particularly unlikely. After all, since dipping her toes in the 2016 water, she’s come up with a much lazier way to scam her more gullible supporters.

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This Week In Crazy: Meet The Hillary Shoe Truthers, And The Rest Of The Worst Of The Right

Welcome to “This Week In Crazy,” The National Memo’s weekly update on the wildest attacks, conspiracy theories, and other loony behavior from the increasingly unhinged right wing. Starting with number five:

5. Bryan Fischer

And Jesus said to His disciples, “Truly I say to you, it is hard for a rich man to enter the kingdom of heaven.” “Again I say to you, it is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle, than for a rich man to enter the kingdom of God.” —Matthew 19

As a self-styled leader of the religious right, American Family Association mouthpiece Bryan Fischer is certainly familiar with that passage from the Bible. But during the Tuesday’s tax-day edition of his radio show, Fischer proposed an addendum: What if the rich man enters with a ticker-tape parade?

“The top 1 percent are funding 30 percent of the government!” Fischer raged. “So, rather than the poor, the low income and the middle class being resentful of these people, they should be kissing the ground on which they walk!”

“Who’s paying for the EBT cards? Who’s paying for food stamps? Who’s paying for the women and infant children program? Who’s paying for subsidized housing? Who’s paying for Medicaid? It is the top 1 percent,” he added. “So, they ought to be given ticker-tape parades once a week in all of our major cities to thank them for funding welfare for everybody.”

If Ken Langone ever abandons Chris Christie, maybe he should try to draft Fischer into the 2016 presidential race. After all, they share an obsession with the 1 percent — and the Nazis.

4. Phyllis Schlafly

Phyllis Schlafly

Photo: Gage Skidmore via Flickr

After their high-profile struggle to reconcile Equal Pay Day with opposing the Paycheck Fairness Act, Republicans began redoubling their efforts to sell women on the GOP.

And as usual when Republicans are trying to attract new voters, Phyllis Schlafly is here to screw things up.

In a Tuesday op-ed for the Christian Post, Schlafly took it upon herself to lay out the anti-feminist case for the gender pay gap. In short: Women should be happy to make less money, because it will help them find a husband.

While women prefer to HAVE a higher-earning partner, men generally prefer to BE the higher-earning partner in a relationship. This simple but profound difference between the sexes has powerful consequences for the so-called pay gap.

Suppose the pay gap between men and women were magically eliminated. If that happened, simple arithmetic suggests that half of women would be unable to find what they regard as a suitable mate.

Obviously, I’m not saying women won’t date or marry a lower-earning men, only that they probably prefer not to. If a higher-earning man is not available, many women are more likely not to marry at all.

Schlafly later added that “The best way to improve economic prospects for women is to improve job prospects for the men in their lives, even if that means increasing the so-called pay gap.”

Meanwhile, somewhere in Washington D.C., Reince Priebus is presumably sobbing into a copy of his “Growth and Opportunity Project.

3. “Blood Moon” Watchers

Blood Moon

Photo via Wikimedia Commons

To say that Tuesday’s lunar eclipse upset some members of the far right would be a dramatic understatement.

Many people refer to the eclipse as a “blood moon,” because sunlight filtering through the Earth’s atmosphere gives the moon a red hue during the event. Pastor John Hagee’s reasoning is a bit different, however; he thinks that the blood moon represents the beginning of the End Times.

“I believe that the heavens are God’s billboard, that he has been sending signals to planet Earth, and we just haven’t been picking them up.” Hagee says. “God is literally screaming at the world, ‘I’m coming soon.'”

Hagee has dabbled in apocalyptic rhetoric before; he once claimed that God sent Hurricane Katrina to New Orleans because the city was planning a sinful “homosexual rally.”As for the latest sign of a vengeful God, you can conveniently learn more about the coming apocalypse by buying Hagee’s book!

While Pastor Hagee believes that the blood moon signals the end of days, Pastor Mark Blitz has an even crazier theory: The eclipse is just God giving the finger to Barack Obama.

Writing in WorldNetDaily (of course), Blitz explains:

Barack Obama quite recently, expressing his frustration that Republican members of Congress won’t give him what he wants, threatened arbitrary executive action, promising that he has a “pen and phone.”

But there are “flashing red warning lights” in the heavens that should command peoples’ attention right now, because the one behind those warnings, God, had “more than a pen and a phone in his hand,” according to the author of “Blood Moons: Decoding the Imminent Heavenly Signs.”

“I believe the moons are like flashing red warning lights at a heavenly intersection saying to Israel as well as the nations they will be crossing heavenly red lines and if they do, they will understand as Pharaoh did on Passover night 3,500 years ago that the Creator backs up what He says.

“Like Pharaoh the leaders and pundits of today will realize when it comes to crossing the red lines of the Creator of the universe he has more than a pen and a phone in his hand.”

Look on the bright side: At least the religious right is (kind of) talking about science!

2. Ted Yoho

Yoho-- FoodStamps


Photo: Gage Skidmore via Flickr

U.S. Rep. Ted Yoho (R-FL) earned plenty of attention this week for telling a black voter that the Civil Rights Act may be unconstitutional, but that may not have even been his craziest statement of the day.

After the controversial town hall meeting on Monday, ThinkProgress’ Scott Keyes interviewed Yoho about climate change:

KEYES: Droughts and extreme weather have been on the rise here in Florida. Do you think that’s something that’s attributable to manmade climate change?
YOHO: No. I think it’s a natural occurrence. I think we need to be good stewards of the resources we have and we need to get better, which we have, through technology and innovation.
KEYES: Do you think scientists are right on climate change or are they off-base on it?
YOHO: I think there’s an agenda-driven science. I can read stuff that says that the information was skewed. It’s not right. I’m a guy that’s worked out in the weather since I was 16. I can tell there’s climate change. The cause? I’m not smart enough for that.

So Floridians can go ahead and forget about the extreme dangers that climate change poses to their state. Ted Yoho may not be smart enough to know why he’s been getting sweatier while he works out in the weather, but he’s certain that he knows more than 97 percent of climate scientists.

And after all, unskewing numbers never goes wrong for Republicans.

1. Shoe Truthers

High Heel

When a woman threw her shoe at former secretary of state Hillary Clinton during a speech last week, regular This Week In Crazy readers knew what would happen next: The Shoe Truthers are here.

First, there was Arthur Louis. Writing on the website of Fox News contributor Bernard Goldberg, Louis began by parroting Brian Kilmeade’s assertion that George W. Bush is a much better shoe-dodger than Clinton, who “ducks flying shoes like a girl.” He then gets to the meat of his point:

“There is a political axiom, I believe first posed by Euclid or Archimedes, that when Hillary does something, or when something happens to her, she has carefully calculated it beforehand,” he writes. “So it would not be stretching logic to suppose that Hillary arranged to have the shoe thrown at her. Remembering the Bush incident, she may have calculated that this would make her seem presidential.”

The stupidity didn’t stop there. Disgraced former presidential candidate and pizza magnate Herman Cain weighed in via Twitter:

And when there’s a stupid conspiracy theory about the Clintons, Rush Limbaugh is always on the case.

“I just do not attach much genuineness to them at all and I don’t know why anybody would be throwing a shoe at Hillary,” Limbaugh said. “Unless, maybe it’s an attempt to make the Benghazi people look like nuts and lunatics and wackos.”

That’s right: Hillary Clinton arranged to have a shoe thrown at her head to distract America from #Benghazi.

We have a long way to go until 2016.

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