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Monday, December 09, 2019

Tag: jimmy kimmel

#EndorseThis: Kimmel Reveals What Trump's Own Family Thinks Of Him

Jimmy Kimmel has been reading Confidence Man by New York Times reporter Maggie Haberman, and the late night comic was amused to learn that Trump intended to fire daughter-bride Ivanka and her husband, Jared Kushner, who were both White House advisers, on Twitter.

“Haberman wrote that Trump was racist. He assumed staffers who weren’t white at the White House were waiters,” noted Kimmel. “He was homophobic. He was transphobic. He had problems dealing with female leaders of other countries. He called Angela Merkel a ‘bitch.’”

It isn't just normal Americans who were appalled by Trump. So were those closest to him.

“According to this book, everyone who worked at the White House ― including his family ― thought Trump was a dangerous, unpredictable child,” Kimmel said. Then, calling them out, "“On behalf of all of us, I just want to say ‘thank you’ to those brave men and women who kept that information to themselves and away from the American people who could have removed him from office."

Watch the entire segment below:

#Endorse This: Kimmel Torches Crazy Trump And His QAnon Cult

Last night Jimmy Kimmel tore into Donald Trump’s open embrace of the QAnon conspiracy loons at his latest rally, which featured the music associated with the movement. And no, it's not Patsy Cline's "Crazy."

As the Qanon song played, Trump fans held up a single finger.

“That means one, which is their average IQ, I think,” Kimmel joked. “It would seem that Trump has now fully embraced the lunacy because these are the only people who still believe there’s a conspiracy against him,” he said. “Things are getting very crazy out there.”

Nothing but Qanonsense!

Watch the entire segment below:

Endorse This! Kimmel Reveals The Stupidest Thing About MAGA Republicans

If the Trump presidency (and post-presidency) has taught us anything, it's that there is no shortage of stupidity in the Republican Party, which now revolves around debunked insane conspiracies and denying the 2020 election rather than actual policy issues.

Perhaps that explains why Jimmy Kimmel was aghast over a new report that shows election-denying pro-Trump Republicans will be on the ballot in half the nation during the midterm elections

.“How is this a thing?” Kimmel asked on Wednesday night's episode of Jimmy Kimmel Live. “There is literally no evidence of any kind of fraud, certainly not fraud that could’ve come anywhere close to changing the outcome of the election...And yet these lowlifes continue with this lie,” he said.

“It’s the dumbest thing. Imagine if half the Republican nominees believed that chicken is a vegetable, and just said, ‘That’s it.’ This is exactly as dumb as that.”

Watch the entire segment below:

#Endorse This: Kimmel Laments Don Junior's Saddest Video

Last night Jimmy Kimmel returned to the helm of his late-night show -- and immediately zeroed in on the ongoing national security crisis involving former defeated President Trump.

Perfect physical specimen? This perfect physical specimen thing is a bold claim from a man whose BMI reads like the final score of a Golden State Warriors game,” joked Kimmel, after Trump actually said he's the "perfect physical specimen."

Kimmel then moved on to the most obnoxious creature in the Trumposphere, Don Junior.

"Yes, after his dad complained about how Don Junior might be investigated on conspiracy charges at a rally for snake oil salesman Dr. Oz, Don Junior — the son of a New York City billionaire cosplaying as a member of Duck Dynasty — bragged in a video, 'I got the honorable mention. It’s nice to know that he cares, you know? He’s a tough guy… It’s always nice to see dad, you know, talking about it… it shows he cares, you know? Because there’s times where we’re just in that fight… sometimes ya miss it.'”

Watch the entire segment below:

Endorse This! Al Franken Continues Comeback, Nails Ted Cruz

Since his much-lamented resignation from the United States Senate, Al Franken has started his own podcast, made some TV and radio appearances, and is currently on tour across the country -- but his profile rose sharply this week when he guest-hosted Jimmy Kimmel Live.

Instead of dwelling on the good news of President Biden signing the Inflation Reduction Act, Franken's monologue drilled into another existential threat facing our nation. No, not the “enormous gaps in wealth and income” nor the “threats to our democracy,” but rather a peril that has troubled him since his Senate days.

“I really think that one of the most serious issues facing our country today is just how big a dick Ted Cruz is,” he said.

“Now I’ve said it before, but I probably like Ted Cruz more than most of my colleagues like Ted Cruz, and I hate Ted Cruz,” Franken added. “Ted Cruz is probably one of the most famous senators because, as I mentioned, he’s a huge dick.”

Welcome back, Al.

Watch the entire segment below:

Endorse This! Dana Carvey Delivers Trump 2024 Reality Check

Jimmy Kimmel Live guest host Dana Carvey tripped into defeated, single-term ex-president Donald Trump who seems hell-bent on giving Americans further nightmares with a 2024 run, which may actually be just a ploy to avoid federal prosecution.

“People want me to run,” boasted the delusional orange clown in an interview with New York magazine, even though polls show a majority of Americans don’t want him to seek another term. Well, Carvey channeled legendary tonight show host Johnny Carson in delivering a series of zingers aimed directly at a 2024 Trump run, down to rimshots and all.

Melania heard Trump might be running. She booked a one-way ticket on Air Force Done,” he said in one of the gags.

Then, Carvey played both Biden and Trump in a hypothetical but hilarious 2024 debate.

Watch the entire segment below:

Endorse This! Kimmel Destroys 'Absentee Dad' Herschel Walker

If ever there could be an African-American version of Donald Trump, that unquestionably would be Georgia Republican senate wannabe and former football star Herschel Walker. From his constant weird lying to his verbal word salads that make Sarah Palin sound like Orwell, Walker embodies MAGA: lies, conspiracies, lack of accountability, incompetence, and ignorance.

Well, it seems we can add deadbeat dad to the mix.

Jimmy Kimmel took aim at Walker after a series of reports about multiple hidden children whom he fathered.

“Just in time for Father’s Day, we found out he has not one but three children he somehow forgot to mention,” noted Kimmel. “He has four kids and raised one of them, which is interesting because he’s a very outspoken critic of absentee fathers. He blames every societal problem on absentee dads and I guess he would know, because he is one!”

Kimmel has a few more choice words for this clown candidate.

Watch the entire segment below: