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Monday, December 09, 2019 {{ new Date().getDay() }}

Tag: jimmy kimmel

#EndorseThis: Kimmel Brilliantly Breaks Down Baby Formula Shortage

Jimmy Kimmel opened by weighing in on the national shortage of baby formula, which has left many parents scrambling for solutions. “I don’t know – I’m sure the ivermectin and bleach people could figure this out for us,” Kimmel quipped. “Just mix you up some Gatorade and some baby powder, throw in some breakfast sausage and it blends it up real good, the baby should be fine."

He made sure to point out, however, the utter hypocrisy of our right-wing Supreme Court majority forcing women to have babies in times of massive economic insecurity. You know, like a freaking shortage of baby formula! But hey, it's all about worshipping the fetus and hating the actual child for these Taliban Republicans.

Or as Kimmel noted: “There’s never been a better time for the Supreme Court to force women to have more kids than right now!"

Watch the segment below:


#EndorseThis: Kimmel On Trump's 'Unfathomable' Order To Shoot Protesters

Recovered from COVID, Jimmy Kimmel immediately weighed in on the latest weird revelations moment about the orange clown's presidency. Mark Esper, Trump’s former defense secretary, appeared on 60 Minutes last weekend to share what Kimmel called an “almost impossible-to-believe anecdote about Trump’s plan to handle Americans protesting outside the White House after the killing of George Floyd."

Esper said Trump wondered aloud, "Can’t you just shoot them? Just shoot them in the legs or something?” and that the president suggested bringing in troops to shoot the protesters.

“Well, in fairness, he said the same thing about Eric,” Kimmel deadpanned.

Of course Trump fired back at Esper's criticism, saying, “Mark Esper was weak and totally ineffective, and because of it, I had to run the military.”

“Right," retorted Kimmel. "Captain Bone Spurs had to run the military for Mark Esper...And we know that’s a lie because unlike everything else he ran, the military didn’t go bankrupt."

Watch The Entire Segment Below:

Endorse This: Kimmel Mocks January 6 Testimony Of 'Klan Mom' Greene (VIDEO)

Given the tortured history between late-night host Jimmy Kimmel and deranged Republican Rep. Marjorie Taylor Greene (R-GA), the late-night host had to look up her bizarre testimony last week about the January 6 Capitol riot. In Washington, D.C. over the weekend to present the Mark Twain Prize to Jon Stewart, Kimmel opened his monologue by recalling when Greene sent the Capitol Police after him.

“People there were worried I might get locked up, being in the same town as the ‘Klan mom,’ Marjorie Taylor Greene,” Kimmel joked in his opener. He quickly turned to Qanon Barbie's flawed testimony over the role she played in the January 6 Capitol riot.

“So the Green Goblin had to testify under oath for almost four hours, where she played even dumber than she actually is,” Kimmel quipped. As you'll see, the footage from Greene’s testimony gave him plenty to work with.

Watch the entire video below:

Endorse This: Kimmel Mocks Don Jr. Over 'Weird Porn' Addiction (VIDEO)

While most of the country was celebrating Passover and Easter with their families like normal human beings, the Trump family freakshow was attacking prosecutors and obsessing over trivial issues that divide the country. Late-night comedy host Jimmy Kimmel, perpetually mocking the Trumps with excellent precision, spotted a bizarre set of Easter messages from Donald Trump and his son, Donald Trump Jr.

The once-elected and twice-impeached former president used the holiest of days on the Christian calendar to do what he does best: put out a series of statements slamming his critics, including New York Attorney General Letitia James, whom he called “racist” for simply investigating him.

“This is rare, because typically when he lashes out at a racist attorney general, it’s one that he hired that later turned on him,” Kimmel noted.

As if that wasn't bad enough, the former president’s equally awful son posted an image of heavily armed Easter bunnies guarding eggs. Seriously, Don Jr. seems to have some bizarre violent furry fetish, or maybe something worse.

“What does this have to do with anything? Is somebody threatening to take the Easter Bunny’s machine guns away?” Kimmel asked. “Don Jr. is into some weird porn.”

Watch the entire segment below:


Endorse This: Kimmel Hits Back Hard At 'Klan Mom' Marjorie Greene (VIDEO)

Jimmy Kimmel prides himself on gleefully lambasting and calling out all the infinite hypocrisy in today's deranged GOP (or is it QOP?). Recently, the late-night comedy host found himself embroiled in a spat with unhinged white nationalist Rep. Marjorie Taylor Greene (R-GA) after she called the Capitol police on the comedian. Kimmel, refusing to allow this nut an ounce of space to spew her totally baseless claims, brilliantly pointed out the sheer hypocrisy of Greene calling the cops on him.

At issue was a quip Kimmel made after Greene, whom Kimmel calls “Klan mom”, had called the three GOP senators who supported Ketanji Brown Jackson’s supreme court nomination “pro-pedophile." Kimmel joked: “where is Will Smith when you need him?”

Greene “decided she was going to get some political mileage out of this”, Kimmel said. “This is what she does instead of working. She tweets.” Greene tweeted at ABC that “this threat of violence against me by @jimmykimmel” had been filed with the Capitol police.

“She called the police and reported this!” Kimmel marveled. “Not only did she call the police, she called the same police she voted against giving a Congressional gold medal to for defending our Capitol against the insurrection she helped incite on January 6. That’s who she called: the people she wanted to defund."

Watch The Entire Exchange Below:

Endorse This: Kimmel Roasts Trump On Sarah Palin Endorsement (VIDEO)

Before Donald Trump and the pack of insanely unqualified, hateful, and ignorant grifters who followed in his wake, there was Sarah Palin. The Republican Party is now so utterly far-right, crazy and without an iota of democratic principle, that we look back fondly look back on the late Senator McCain as a beacon of light and hope. But McCain helped launch the rabid sideshow of buffoonery that is today's Republican Party when he made former Alaska Governor Sarah Palin his 2008 running mate.

Late night host Jimmy Kimmel poked fun at former defeated President Trump's endorsement of Palin for the sole Congressional seat in Alaska, where she served as governor. Among the 50 mostly wacko candidates running in a special election to fill the at-large House seat held by the late Don Young for 49 years, she got a hilariously dumb endorsement from Trump.

“Sarah Palin is tough and smart and will never back down," said Trump.

“Even for Trump, it’s impressive to fit three lies into an 11-word sentence,” Kimmel cracked on Monday.

“But I guess The Masked Singer’ money dried up and Sarah’s running for office,” he added. “Trump endorsing Sarah Palin is like paste-eating endorsing glue-sniffing. It’s ridiculous.” And then he went on...

Watch The Segment Below:

Michael Hayne is a comedian, writer, voice artist, podcaster, and impressionist. Follow his work on Facebook and TikTok

#Endorse This: Jimmy Kimmel Gives Ted Cruz "Awful People's Choice Award" (VIDEO)

Trying to find anything remotely redeemable about Senator Ted Cruz (R-TX) is like trying to find a needle in a haystack; it's an utter waste of time and you will probably go insane in the process.

The Supreme Court nominating process was reduced to a back alley sideshow by the likes of Republicans, particularly Ted Cruz, as each and every one of them took a turn at being the biggest partisan hack and pander to Trump's rabidly ignorant base.

Late night comedy host Jimmy Kimmel has been poking fun at Ted Cruz and Republicans all week, including a lot of low-key racism on their parts. But with hearings ending this week and Judge Jackson ready to become the next member of the Supreme Court, Kimmel took one last opportunity to nail Cruz.

"Today marked the final day of the Supreme Court hearings for Ketanji Brown Jackson," and "Ted Cruz, he even out-slimed himself this week," Kimmel said. Cruz's false attacks on the children's book Antiracist Baby shot it to No. 1 on Amazon, and "if you were wondering what Ted Cruz was really focused on during the hearing, somebody got a shot of him on his phone yesterday searching for his own name on Twitter. How embarrassing. And can you imagine being Ted Cruz and still wanting to know what people were saying about you online?" But Cruz wasn't alone, and Kimmel doled out "Awful People's Choice Awards" to some of Cruz's Judiciary Committee colleagues. Cruz himself got the "Outstanding Supporting Actress" nod.

Watch The Entire Segment Below:

Michael Hayne is a comedian, writer, voice artist, podcaster, and impressionist. Follow his work on Facebook and TikTok

#Endorse This: Kimmel Rips Racist Republicans Over Jackson Hearings (VIDEO)

Republicans are always finding new ways to show they are intellectually and morally bankrupt cowards, playing to white nationalist rubes. So it's really no wonder that the Senate confirmation hearings of Supreme Court nominee Ketanji Brown Jackson have produced several moments of clownishness and not-so-subtle racist jabs.

On last night's episode of Jimmy Kimmel Live, host Jimmy Kimmel said that the hearings “give a number of our Republican senators a chance to compete in one of their favorite events: the subtle racism jamboree”.

Kimmel then called out South Carolina’s Senator Lindsey Graham, saying that the politician “expects to be called racist at these hearings”. Afterwards, he shared a clip of Graham’s “interesting” speech at the hearings, in which he expressly stated that nobody is going to equate Judge Jackson to Bill Cosby like Justice Brett Kavanaugh was.

“Um thanks, I guess,” Kimmel responded. “I disagree, I actually think they should treat Ketanji Brown Jackson exactly like they treated Brett Kavanaugh. Interview every single person who’s accused her of sexual assault. Don’t stop, even though there are none. Do not stop.”

Judge Jackson will make history as the first Black woman on the Supreme Court. Vice President Kamala Harris will be the deciding vote, therefore Democrats probably won't need any Republican support. However, that certainly won't stop the GOP caucus from spreading false equivalencies, outrageous lies, and racial jabs.

Watch the entire clip below:


Michael Hayne is a comedian, writer, voice artist, podcaster, and impressionist. Follow his work on Facebook and TikTok