Tag: satire
Endorse This! 5 Funny Nicknames Biden Should Call Putin

Endorse This! 5 Funny Nicknames Biden Should Call Putin

Former defeated President Trump was notorious for giving nicknames to any leader or official whom he didn’t care for, preferably over Twitter in some garbled rant. Whether calling Joe Biden “Sleepy Joe,” Hillary Clinton “Crooked Hillary,” or North Korean dictator Kim Jong Un “Rocketman,” the fact remains that hacky nicknames were Trump’s specialty. But what about President Joe Biden?

We all know Biden’s love for old-time expressions that only grandpas would say, including “Malarkey,” but what we don’t really know is what nicknames, if any, Biden uses to mock his rivals. He seems to like calling Fox News’ Peter Doocy a “stupid son-of-a-b#tch,” which isn't inaccurate. That really begs the question of what nicknames Biden might secretly have for Russian President Vladimir Putin, especially now that US-Russia relations are at an all-time low.

1. Vladdy Cakes

Sometimes it really seems like Putin is nothing but a moldering corpse inside a meat suit. He's sort of like Mark Zuckerberg but far more evil. Calling him Vladdy Cakes seems to slightly personalize the evil autocrat.

2. Putin on the Fritz

We've all seen Mel Brook's Young Frankenstein and the famous "Puttin On the Ritz" scene, but Vlad might actually be even more monstrous and glitchy than Victor's Frankenstein, hence Putin on the Fritz. Get it?


3. Pouty Patootie

When Russia's dictatorial leader is not perpetually frowning, he almost looks like he's pouting. You know, like if one of his generals doesn't bring him back a bunch of Ukrainian corpses, he'll immediately start to pout.

4. A$hole Riot

Pussy Riot, a Russian feminist protest punk rock and performance art group based in Moscow, has had plenty of issues with Putin over the years. The group gained global fame when five members of the group staged a performance inside Moscow's Cathedral of Christ the Saviour on February 21, 2012. The women said their protest was directed at the Orthodox Church leaders' support for Putin during his election campaign. So Biden can play off the name of this wildly popular Russian band in a snarky nickname for Putin.


5. The Longtable Loon

Although poisoning journalists and having his political opponents suddenly disappear are among Putin's favorite activities, he seems to favor those super long tables that look straight out of Game of Thrones. So why riff on of his weird affinity for long tables with this simple but effective nickname?

Michael Hayne is a comedian, writer, voice artist, podcaster, and impressionist. Follow his work on Facebook and TikTok

Endorse This: Possible Reasons Why Republicans Walked Out After Jackson's Confirmation

Endorse This: Possible Reasons Why Republicans Walked Out After Jackson's Confirmation

History was made yesterday after the first African-American woman was confirmed to the highest court in the land, no thanks to crusty, old, and totally out-of-touch racist Republicans. Once Vice-President Kamala Harris read the final votes that secured Judge Ketanji Brown Jackson's seat on the Supreme Court, you could hear the entire chamber erupt in a raucous celebration.

Even Mitt Romney, one of the whitest white guys imaginable, had enough decency to vote in favor of the qualified judge and applaud during the historic moment. But then a handful of the more notoriously vile Senate Republicans (ahem, Ted Cruz) who made a disgrace out of her confirmation hearings, shamelessly voted against Judge Jackson, and at last even more shamelessly walked out of the Senate chamber like a bunch of drama queen Karens.


So we thought it would be funny to speculate as to why Ted Cruz, Mitch McConnell, and others walked out during an otherwise beautiful and historic moment.

1. Mitch McConnell hates to leave Big Oil lobbyists waiting too long

2. They didn't want to be late for a white nationalist rally

3. Ted Cruz was due back early at the zoo

4. Lindsey Graham just remembered he left his spine at Mar-A-Lago

5. Josh Hawley forgot he left the constitution burning on the stove

Michael Hayne is a comedian, writer, voice artist, podcaster, and impressionist. Follow his work on Facebook and TikTok

#EndorseThis: Randy Rainbow Trolls Anti-Vaxxers With 'Rent' Song Parody

#EndorseThis: Randy Rainbow Trolls Anti-Vaxxers With 'Rent' Song Parody

In parody singer Randy Rainbow's latest video , the satirist starts out with a faux interview with Vice President Kamala Harris, where he asks why the hell we’re still having to discuss the effectiveness of vaccines against the virus. When a clip of Harris plays explaining the Biden administration’s campaign for vaccination, Rainbow interjects, saying, “Good luck, because the messaging is all over the place — the far right is taking medical advice from Joe Rogan, and now this whole thing has been politicized on all sides.”

This is when Rainbow begins to start parodying the barrage of anti-Vaxxers to the tune of a "Tango: Maureen”, a hit from the 1996 musical Rent.

Watch Randy Rainbow Trolls Anti-Vaxxers With 'Rent' Song Parody:

Sen. John Cornyn

#EndorseThis: The Joke Is On GOP Sen. Cornyn, But He Doesn't Get It

Either the Senate GOP is grasping at straws or they really are this stupid.

During the confirmation of Justice Department civil rights division nominee Kristen Clarke, Sen. John Cornyn (R-TX) attempted to grill her by dredging up an op-ed she wrote in college about the racist book The Bell Curve. She opened the piece with a satirical statement that African Americans are genetically superior to Caucasians-- clearly referring to the absurdity of the book.

"This was satire?" Sen. Cornyn doltishly asked.

Duh! Watch him flounder -- it's too funny.