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Monday, December 09, 2019 {{ new Date().getDay() }}

Tag: political comedy

Endorse This! Kimmel Tweaks Kellyanne's Very Awkward New Book

Returning to his late-night show after another COVID hiatus, Jimmy Kimmel mocked the release of Kellyanne Conway's new book. Pointing out that she writes almost as well as she tells the truth, Kimmel played a clip of Conway reading from Here’s The Deal: A Memoir --- and concluding with an “amen” for her own words.

“Yeah, ‘amen,‘” he chortled. “I don’t think you’re allowed to end your own book with ‘amen.’”

But just when you thought that might be the most awkward part of wacky Conway's book, Kimmel dug a little bit further. A Trump spokesperson issued a statement calling a key anecdote in the book “totally false.” Wait, did Conway just encounter "alternative facts"?

“In other words, Kellyanne got Kellyanne’ed today!” Kimmel said. “Isn’t that something?”

Watch the entire segment below:

Endorse This! 5 MAGA Children's Books The GOP Wants You To Read (SATIRE)

The GOP descent into full-blown conspiracy and fascist hell has not gone unnoticed as of late. With the right-wing dominated Supreme Court poised to finally overturn Roe V Wade and 2022 races focusing on backing Republicans who support Trump's 2020 election lies, democracy and decency are all but dead and Democrats are going to have to turn out big in the midterms to prevent a GOP takeover over the House or Senate.

But while the focus of progressive ire has been over the GOP's assault on reproductive rights, Republicans have also been waging a war on facts and education quite well. After all, they need their voters nice and ignorant to remain in power. Book banning and, sickeningly, book burning is a thing for the GOP in the year 2022. The state of Tennessee, for example, is banning books. In fact, a psychotic trump zealot pastor led an actual book-burning event.

Since the far-right clowns in today's deranged GOP want their voters to remain ignorant, hateful, and uneducated we decided to compile a list of super-duper conservative-approved children's books. Although this is purely satirical, it is actually something that could very well happen in today's intellectually and morally bankrupt Republican Party.


@impressions_guy #donaldtrump#maga #comedy #liberal #conservative#satire #democrat ♬ Blue Blood - Heinz Kiessling & Various Artists

Michael Hayne is a comedian, writer, voice artist, podcaster, and impressionist. Follow his work on Facebook and TikTok


Endorse This! Colbert Goes After Carlson On 'Replacement' Theory

It seems we can't go even a week in America without some deranged white nationalist shooter taking the lives of decent people. Of course, this type of violence is propagated on a daily basis by the far-right sh*tweasals at Fox News and, worse yet, in the ranks of the Republican Party.

After returning to the Late Show helm, Stephen Colbert weighed in on the real culprit behind the mass shootings -- the Replacement Theory popularized by Tucker Carlson.

"Where does anyone get an idea that monstrous?” Colbert wondered. “Well, it used to be only from the farthest rightwing fringe organizations – your StormFronts, your neo-Nazis. But these days, you can see it every night on TV,” thanks to Fox News and host Tucker Carlson, who has advanced the idea that a “cabal of elites wants to force demographic change through immigration” in more than 400 episodes of his show.

Colbert also made sure to mockthe ridiculous lie that Democrats are somehow super radicalized.

“Oh, and you know what those liberals will do with their powerful permanent majority?” he mocked. “Beg Joe Manchin for paid family leave, and then when he doesn’t vote for it say, ‘oh, OK then, is there something else we could do for you? What if we fed coal directly to dolphins?’”

Watch the clip below:

Endorse This! Madison Cawthorn Guide to Throwing an Orgy

The Republican party seems to be having trouble trying to be the Christian Taliban and hating on LGBT people when they’ve got Rep. Madison Cawthorn in their ranks. His presence is making it so much harder for them to suppress their inner self-loathing--homosexuality and moral hypocrisy.

We all know politicians secretly love illicit drugs as much as taking bribes or paying off strippers they knocked up, so you have to give Cawthorn some credit for being honest. However, any creditability as a human he might have goes out the window when you consider his hatred and policies toward the LGBT community while, hypocritically enough, he engages in homosexual acts himself.

Since this creep is a world-class douche, here's a funny guide to throwing a Madison Cawthorn orgy.


@impressions_guy #madisoncawthorn#republican#conservative#liberal#comedy ♬ Blue Blood - Heinz Kiessling & Various Artists

Michael Hayne is a comedian, writer, voice artist, podcaster, and impressionist. Follow his work on Facebook and TikTok


#EndorseThis: Kimmel On Trump's 'Unfathomable' Order To Shoot Protesters

Recovered from COVID, Jimmy Kimmel immediately weighed in on the latest weird revelations moment about the orange clown's presidency. Mark Esper, Trump’s former defense secretary, appeared on 60 Minutes last weekend to share what Kimmel called an “almost impossible-to-believe anecdote about Trump’s plan to handle Americans protesting outside the White House after the killing of George Floyd."

Esper said Trump wondered aloud, "Can’t you just shoot them? Just shoot them in the legs or something?” and that the president suggested bringing in troops to shoot the protesters.

“Well, in fairness, he said the same thing about Eric,” Kimmel deadpanned.

Of course Trump fired back at Esper's criticism, saying, “Mark Esper was weak and totally ineffective, and because of it, I had to run the military.”

“Right," retorted Kimmel. "Captain Bone Spurs had to run the military for Mark Esper...And we know that’s a lie because unlike everything else he ran, the military didn’t go bankrupt."

Watch The Entire Segment Below:

#EndorseThis: A Livid Colbert Lays Into Leaked SCOTUS Abortion Opinon

After a leaked SCOTUS draft opinion revealed the conservative court majority's intention to do what every person of sound mind knew they would do in ending abortion rights, believers in choice became incensed and immediately started protesting. Late Show host Stephen Colbert was none too pleased with the leaked opinion.

“So congratulations, ladies,” Colbert told his viewers. “Decisions about what you can do with your body are now being made by four old dudes and a woman who thinks The Handmaid’s Tale is a rom-com.”

Colbert directed most of his ire at Senator Susan Collins (R-ME). Perpetually duped by far-right-wing SCOTUS nominees and their Christian Taliban agenda, Collins voted to confirm Trump-nominated justices Neil Gorsuch and Brett Kavanaugh.She stupidly said at the time she didn’t believe either would overturn the landmark abortion case. This lady really needs to have a sign above her flashing the words "Not getting it."

Watch The Entire Segment Below:

Endorse This: 'You're A Gossipy Little B*tch': Samantha Bee Unloads On Mark Meadows Texts (VIDEO)

Samantha Bee lambastes the treasure trove of damning text messages handed over to the House Select Committee by former Trump White House chief of staff Mark Meadows, which included more than 2,319 exchanges with various Trump sycophants and Republican lawmakers.

“Some of the most damning texts came on Election Day, like when Fox News host Sean Hannity promised Meadows he would push his listeners to get Trump elected,” she continues. When Meadows pressed Hannity to “stress every vote matters”, the host replied: “Yes sir. On it.”

Despite a flurry of frantic messages show some Trump aides, including Jared Kushner, citing evidence against Trump’s baseless election fraud claims, the White House continued shoveling the bull crap.

“Despite mounting worries, a total lack of fraud evidence and a warning about potential violence on January 6, Meadows and company went full speed ahead anyway,” Bee explained.

And much like myself and other comedians, Bee pointed out the hilarious misspelling of Martial Law by Marjorie 'Klan Mom' Greene.

“Of course, when it did turn violent, it wasn’t enough for true believers like Marjorie Taylor Greene,” who texted Meadows days later to suggest they stop Biden from taking office by having Trump declare “Marshall Law”.

“And if you’re thinking, ‘that’s not how you spell martial law,’ you are very correct,” Bee said, adding “Marshall’s Law, as everyone knows, is that no one should pay retail prices for quality yoga pants.

Watch The Clip Below:

Michael Hayne is a comedian, writer, voice artist, podcaster, and impressionist. Follow his work on Facebook and TikTok

Endorse This: Kimmel Hits Back Hard At 'Klan Mom' Marjorie Greene (VIDEO)

Jimmy Kimmel prides himself on gleefully lambasting and calling out all the infinite hypocrisy in today's deranged GOP (or is it QOP?). Recently, the late-night comedy host found himself embroiled in a spat with unhinged white nationalist Rep. Marjorie Taylor Greene (R-GA) after she called the Capitol police on the comedian. Kimmel, refusing to allow this nut an ounce of space to spew her totally baseless claims, brilliantly pointed out the sheer hypocrisy of Greene calling the cops on him.

At issue was a quip Kimmel made after Greene, whom Kimmel calls “Klan mom”, had called the three GOP senators who supported Ketanji Brown Jackson’s supreme court nomination “pro-pedophile." Kimmel joked: “where is Will Smith when you need him?”

Greene “decided she was going to get some political mileage out of this”, Kimmel said. “This is what she does instead of working. She tweets.” Greene tweeted at ABC that “this threat of violence against me by @jimmykimmel” had been filed with the Capitol police.

“She called the police and reported this!” Kimmel marveled. “Not only did she call the police, she called the same police she voted against giving a Congressional gold medal to for defending our Capitol against the insurrection she helped incite on January 6. That’s who she called: the people she wanted to defund."

Watch The Entire Exchange Below: