Smart. Sharp. Funny. Fearless.
Sunday, October 23, 2016

One thing you can say about Rick Perry is that he sticks to his guns. If one of his policy proposals turns out to be dumb, by gollies, he will double down on dumb.

For example, in his current re-run for the GOP presidential nomination, the “Oops” governor has repositioned himself as an expert on border security. As such, he milked a lot of political PR out of this summer’s surge of migrant children crossing our southern border illegally. Never mind that they were desperate to escape the abject poverty, rapes, murders and gang cultures that confronted them every day in their Central American homelands, Perry used their plight as a chance to foment fear and pose as a superhero “seal the border” candidate.

Perry was on Fox News howling for federal troops, declaring that “this is a natural disaster,” and putting himself in front of the Tea Party fear brigade that was screeching about the Ebola virus and the other pandemic diseases these wretched urchins might bring in.

But, darn it, the surge of young migrants was coming to an end… and so was Perry’s dumb rationale for slamming and locking our nation’s southwest door. No problem for Rick, though — he simply reached for dumber. Instead of children, his latest bugaboo is — believe it or not — Islamic terrorists.

In August, Perry warned that murderous militants from ISIS “could be” penetrating the U.S. from Mexico. Could be? Well, he conceded, there’s “no clear evidence” of it — but BE AFRAID, BE VERY AFRAID! The “expert” said that people “from countries with terrorist ties” are crossing into our country. Really? Yes, he said, citing “three individuals from Ukraine” who were caught. Uh, Rick… Ukraine is not a country “with terrorist ties.”

Never mind the facts; he went on to scold President Obama for failing to put more border agents in place and use unmanned drones to bolster security there. Apparently no one told the newly minted border expert that Obama proposed those same measures last year, but Perry’s fellow Republicans killed the bill.

Perry is scary. And what’s worse, he thinks he is presidential material. But he is not the only bonehead on the loose, regurgitating their own paranoia and propaganda to advance their doleful agenda of fear.

Take Duncan Hunter… please! This self-promoting bozo of a congresscritter constantly goes off louder than a car alarm on the fritz, honking and squealing about some bugaboo he’s dreamed up. In a recent Fox News episode, the far-right California congressman was in full-panic mode, wailing that Islamic State terrorists were entering our country from Mexico: “ISIS is coming across the Southern border,” he panted. “I know that at least 10 ISIS fighters have been caught coming across the Mexican border in Texas,” he breathlessly asserted, adding sternly that while the 10 got caught, “you know there’s going to be dozens more that did not get caught.”

Really? How does he know that? Mr. Fearmonger won’t say, refusing to reveal his “sources.” Meanwhile, the Department of Homeland Security calls his claim of an ISIS intrusion from Mexico “categorically false… not supported by any credible intelligence or the facts on the ground.”

Of course, facts are not a shield against right-wing delusions, and Hunter is not about to believe anything said by Homeland Security officials working in the administration of the man he considers Satan incarnate, Barack Obama. But — oopsy-daisy — the Republican-led Department of Public Safety in Texas also looked into his foaming-at-the-mouth warnings, reporting in an email to state legislators that “DPS does not have any information to confirm [Hunter’s] specific statements.”

It’s embarrassing to learn that boneheads like this are actually taking up space in the United States Congress. No wonder they never get anything done. Duncan shouldn’t be in Congress — he ought to be sitting in a dunking booth at a state fair. Next the Perry-Duncan team will warn us that Ebola-infected Islamic terrorists are sneaking across the border carrying Weapons of Mass Destruction!

To find out more about Jim Hightower, and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Web page at

Photo: Steve Hillibrand via Wikimedia Commons

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  • Dominick Vila

    I would not be surprised if the next justification for Perry’s immigration paranoia involved a rabid Chihuahua trying to sneak into the USA.
    Islamic terrorists don’t jump our Southern border fences or crawl in through tunnels, they enter the USA with student or tourist visas, enroll in our best universities to learn how to fly planes, come in with wads of money, and buy fancy cars…before they strike.

    • DAK27

      In other words, they act just like a Republican politician. Or is it a Republican politician acting like a terrorist? I get the two groups confused sometimes as they both use the exact same tactics and have the same end-goal in mind. Destruction of this country because they BOTH HATE OUR FREEDOMS.

  • jAMES

    since when did facts ever slow down the mouth of a republican and their lies. Rick pissery has proven he is an idiot time and time again yet the tea party uphold him as one of their “intellectuals” shame to say but he does seem to be smarter than most of them. As always when the president trys to compromise the rep refuse it then complain that he was at fault. they want scare tactic headlines not a solution to any problem they think is the US is inturmoil that people will blame it on the Dems even though they caused all the problems and refuse to work toward resolving them.

    • adp3d

      Well, he does have new glasses…

  • Melinda Killie

    Perry—- Ididocy…

    Yup, that sounds about right, alrighty…


  • FireBaron

    Perry asking for federal troops. Isn’t this the same guy who three years ago touted Texas secession?