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New Campaign Songs For Donald Trump

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New Campaign Songs For Donald Trump

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Republicans, Trump

Politicians using songs on the campaign trail without artist permission has long been a touchy subject, but few have earned as much scorn from the music industry as Donald J. Trump. At this point, he couldn’t play with “The Itsy Bitsy Spider” on stage without getting a phone call from Raffi’s lawyer.

Still, Trump and the RNC seem to have paid licensing fees for his campaign’s music, so irked artists don’t have much say in the matter. The National Memo wanted to help work the situation out, so we’ve assembled some alternatives for Donald — songs he can grow to love, but that are a better fit for the… tone of his campaign.

 

The Rolling Stones

What Trump played: “You Can’t Always Get What You Want”

The song is oddly appropriate, based on the millions of disappointed Republicans forced to vote for their party’s demise. Or maybe Trump picked it out for arch rival Ted Cruz. Either way, The Stones didn’t like it and filed a cease-and-desist letter.

Better option: “Sympathy for the Devil”

Trump’s conscience probably works a lot like those old cartoons: On his left shoulder he has a little devil, and on his right he has—well, nothing. He fired the angel that used to be there and refused to pay him for his work. But the Donald and his little red friend get along just fine, both being men of wealth and taste. 

Best Option: “Let It Bleed”

Given Donald Trump’s overblown speech on Thursday, he needs a track to reflect all the violence in our lawless streets. Plus, guitarist Keith Richards once pulled a knife on Trump back in 1989, so there’s no doubt he would’ve approved.

 

Queen 

What Trump played: “We Are the Champions”

When David Duke’s favorite candidate blasts a power ballad by a bisexual, non-white foreigner, everybody loses.

Better option: “I Want It All”

Trump already has a business empire, his own TV show, a skyscraper with his name on it, and he still wants to control the free world? Maybe it’s time to stop believing that this guy is running for the sake of the American people.

  

 

Neil Young

What Trump played: “Rockin’ in the Free World”

If Donald Trump took the time to listen to the song’s cynical lyrics, he’d quickly realize that it’s far from a patriotic rocker. Then again, details have never been the GOP nominee’s strong point. Just take a look at anything he’s said over the past year.

Better option: “Transformer Man”

A piercing mishmash of synthesizers and distorted falsettos, “Transformer Man” is often cited as Young’s worst song. Coincidentally, Donald Trump will eventually be recognized as America’s worst presidential candidate. It’s a match made in heaven!

 

George Harrison/The Beatles

What Trump played: “Here Comes the Sun”

The former Beatle’s family objected when Ivanka Trump marched out to the Abbey Road classic this week. Perhaps Donald chose it because Ivanka is the center of his world. Just watch out—if the sun weren’t 93 million miles away, he’d probably be dating it.

Better option: “I Me Mine”

Look, it’s Trump’s three favorite words, right there in the title! Make no mistake, however. Donald really is a humble man, the most humble. His publicist John Miller told me so.

Best option: “Beware of Darkness”

Far and away, this Harrison solo track is the best choice possible. Why, you ask? Because this suggestion came straight from the official Harrison Twitter account.

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30 Comments

  1. Daniel Jones July 24, 2016

    I had no idea Keith Richards was straight enough to realize how awful the Donald is at any point in the 80s, much less when he was in a position to pull a knife on the creep. Thanks for the info.

    Reply
    1. The lucky one July 24, 2016

      Most people can realize when they are facing a poisonous snake.

      Reply
  2. AgLander July 24, 2016

    The Democrats have just released a couple of their main theme songs for their convention and which will be played throughout the week….the titles are:
    “Has Anyone Seen Debbie”?! and “When Your Host is Toast”.

    Reply
    1. The lucky one July 24, 2016

      Here’s one that applies to you and the other Trump toadies, “I Pity the Fool”

      Reply
    2. Bill P July 24, 2016

      Another bob brought to by the lame-ass who tried to force Hillary is the new OJ on this site. Seen it much?

      Reply
    3. King of America July 24, 2016

      Once again, you are attempting to tell a joke while being singularly incapable of doing so. Why?

      Reply
  3. Aaron_of_Portsmouth July 24, 2016

    Those suggestions for TRUMP songs are excellent.

    I’m thinking that a lonesome nostalgic song like “Dixie’s Land” would be appropriate since the South and its ethos permeates the entire fabric of the GOP and its base.

    The late arch-segregationist, Theodore G. Bilbo, of Mississippi would have felt cozy and at home in the GOP structure of stodginess and irrelevance, and would be exhorting Donald to lead the charge to return humanity back to the Dark Ages.

    Reply
  4. AgLander July 24, 2016

    Hillary Clinton has also presented her new song for her campaign and her career:

    “I Fought The Law, And The Law Hasn’t Won…..Yet”.

    Reply
    1. Independent1 July 24, 2016

      What law?? Hillary broke no law. Fact is, the computer system Hillary used for her emails was far more secure than the State Department’s systems. Hillary’s system was never hacked while the Russians have hacked the State Department’s systems a number of times. Comey’s right-wing biased comments about HIllary’s supposedly careless handling of emails were TOTAL NONSENSE!! Clearly made by him to misinform the voters and make Hillary look bad just one more time!!!

      If any people should be tried for breaking the law, it’s everyone who worked in the Bush White House; that includes Bush, Cheney, Rove, Rice, Powell and a number of others – I believe 22 people who all used the RNC email servers for more than 80% of their correspondence, including all forms of confidential, secret and even top secret info. And these idiots used a system that was utilized by hundreds of politicians around the nation which made it far more prone to hacking than the system Hillary used.

      And there is a law requiring that the President and the White House staff maintain all correspondence, emails and otherwise for a fairly long period of time; but the Bush White House did not do that. At one point there were 103 million emails missing. 22 million were eventually recovered but there are still more than 80 million emails from the Bush years missing.

      So if any group of people deserve to be tried for breaking the law IT’S NOT HILLARY!!!!!!!

      Reply
    2. Phil Christensen July 24, 2016

      Aglander, you have to excuse our little friend “independent.” As is so often the case with Leftards, huge chunks of the story are either left out or just completely mis-represented.
      With respect to Clinton’s e-mail server, the leading cyber security experts have come out condemning it’s obvious vulnerability, with Marc Maiffret going as far as to call it “total amateur hour.”
      It’s also useful to mention that the FBI director stopped just short of explicitly saying that Clinton was just too stupid to know what she was doing. What he did say explicitly, was that anyone else who did this would be prosecuted.
      To be candid, I don’t see the Law winning ever.
      As far as the “103 million missing e-mails” this stat has does have some validity but you have to remember that e-mail and cyber awareness was still in its toddler stage in 2001. Back then, auto-generated messages informing you that your in-box was full and you needed to make room by either archiving or deleting was Standard Operating Procedure. Many just deleted because that just seemed reasonable. As a result, we’re missing about a third of “Where are they going? OK, turkey club. Cole slaw – I’m probably not even going eat it.” and other such invaluable gems from the the historical record of the Bush years.

      Reply
  5. Otto T. Goat July 24, 2016

    New campaign song for Hillary Clinton.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HdZ9weP5i68

    Reply
    1. AgLander July 24, 2016

      Actually, if it was just audio, I would have bet my house it WAS her.

      Reply
      1. Bill P July 24, 2016

        If it were then wife #3 Melania would definitely copy it and pass it off as hers.

        Reply
        1. Phil Christensen July 24, 2016

          Unless it was classified. In which case everyone would already have it.

          Reply
          1. Bill P July 25, 2016

            That answer is profound, how do I ever respond to it. Everybody may have but only Melania tries to pass it off as her own creation.

            Reply
          2. Phil Christensen July 25, 2016

            Right, because there are so many ways to say “work hard.” Of course, not so many ways to say, “for the first time in my adult life…”

            Reply
          3. Bill P July 26, 2016

            The person who actually wrote the speech – Meredith McIver stated – “A person she [Melania] has always liked is Michelle Obama. Over the phone, she read me some passages from Mrs. Obama’s speech as examples. I wrote them down and later included some of the phrasing in the draft that ultimately became the final speech,” But you go ahead and keep believing your version, it works better in your bubble world.

            Reply
          4. Phil Christensen July 26, 2016

            You mean the world in which everyone uses speech writers? You made my point for me. Thanks.

            Reply
          5. Bill P July 28, 2016

            Not everyone uses speech writers. However Melania’s speech writer took parts of Michele Obama’s speech and incorporated into the one that Melania spoke at the RNC. She should have created Michele’s speech as a source of her own. When you write a paper or research document you are required to note where you are using someone else’s work. As far as proving your point you claimed “because there are so many ways to say “work hard.” Of course, not so many ways to say, “for the first time in my adult life…” You are changing what you initially stated, typical troll move when proven wrong, claim something else.

            Reply
          6. Phil Christensen July 28, 2016

            Uh-oh. Took you two days to rack your brains for a rebuttal. You were actually doing well there, and then you just haaaaaaad to make it personal. Fact is, you and all the other Leftist got played on this one. The split screen of Melania and Michelle are impeded into everyone’s psyche and probably good for a half point, even though Obama isn’t actually running.

            Reply
          7. Bill P July 29, 2016

            Whether I reply in an hour or a day or two days is irrelevant. You originally claimed that the words were so general in nature that it couldn’t be plagiarism. However the co-writer (Melania added the Hi Everyone to it) admitted she used part of Michele Obama’s speech in writing the speech for Melania. Your last sentence is just more of your inane babbling, keep up the bad work.

            Reply
          8. Phil Christensen July 29, 2016

            Can’t let it go, eh Slim? Let’s get to what’s really bothering you:
            https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/dc91fcc8abe7f0dfe745f1227785eb608d8087d70c2d0f6b122771808d43d0fe.jpg I win.

            Reply
          9. Bill P July 31, 2016

            Gee it looks like you can’t let it go either. As for winning it figures you would choose a mannequin to a woman who is intelligent, classy, sophisticated and good looking too. Compare resumes – Michele graduated from Princeton University and Harvard Law schools while the mannequin graduated fro University of Slovenia or that at least was on her website until it was scrubbed. Maybe she should copy Michele’s resume too!

            Reply
          10. Phil Christensen August 1, 2016

            I’ve read mono-linguel Michelle’s thesis. Not impressed.
            And I’ve got your “classy, sophisticated” right here. https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/0474825091132b09d7b52c90331277ef328979b788808940876ef06cc9332d0b.jpg
            There’s more, of course. But if you’ve had enough…

            Reply
          11. Bill P August 2, 2016

            Sure you have read Michelle Obama’s “mono-linguel” thesis but many you should have read her “monolingual” thesis. It was written in English the language of this country. I see you can only try to denigrate Michelle’s accomplishments but she did complete her degree at Princeton University and then went on to earn a Juris Doctor (JD) degree fro Harvard Law school. Let’s see the mannequin supposedly earned a degree in Architecture and Design, at least that was what she had on her website until it pull a Houdini and disappeared. You can post all the pictures of Michelle eating some type of food, that will never take away from her class, style and sophistication. Here is a real classy picture of Melania that will the family values people will appreciate

            Reply
          12. Phil Christensen August 2, 2016

            Ha, ha. Spelling Nazi. That’s OK, I do it too.
            But, that’s picture’s supposed to be a neg on Melania? Issues, dude. It’s alright if women frighten you. You can see a therapist about it.
            Interesting, for all of Michelle’s “education,” her (I’ll use that pronoun as a courtesy) failure in private practice was her moniker up until the Obama’s shepherds arranged for a series of patronage jobs from the early 90’s culminating with her position as the “vice president for community and external affairs” for the University of Chicago Medical Center, shortly after her husband was elected to the U.S. Senate. Great work off you can get it. As FLOTUS, her signature accomplishment is this: https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/32d4110e9645304effa47455812106365cdb51ca6bcc71748b7fc45403597f44.jpg
            New School Lunch Program. #thanksmichelle
            As far as class, style, and sophistication, you have to possess it in order for it to be taken away from you.
            https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/566320b8c139484375d520ff1bed6060c4bef16cfd84378ea6fa34eddaa1fb8e.jpg
            So much class, she can’t even mask her seething rage at being in the same frame with a beautiful woman. And that wasn’t even the worst:
            https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/4af1b3dcab72fd5c9a9ea8e0a9df10fffa1db3066dae5f53c0d9e49a191cc07c.jpg
            You should have stuck with the 50 words. The argument of plagiarism vs. cross-pollination would have brought us to an agree to disagree point. This is what happens when you project your aspirations on someone else. You end up looking silly.
            I don’t have a dog in this fight, and I don’t have admiration for either woman.
            Two points an spelling and syntax: (1) …but many you should have read… I think you as you were attempting to correct me you meant to type: maybe you should have read… (2) Here is a real classy picture of Melania that will the family values people will appreciate – I think you meant to type: Here is a real classy picture of Melania that the family values people will appreciate. Let’s see if you can spot the punctuation and syntax error.
            It might be time to close out this thread. Let’s see if you can be responsible enough to take the last world. Remember your own words: class, style and sophistication.
            Peace and tranquillity.

            Reply
    2. King of America July 24, 2016

      Haha I get it! Something racist that nobody under 65 years old would care about!

      Reply
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    Reply

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