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Monday, December 09, 2019 {{ new Date().getDay() }}

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#EndorseThis: Colbert Scripts Don Junior Divorce Comedy

There’s nothing funny about a marriage ending, intones Stephen Colbert – which is what he believed until he heard the latest about Donald Trump, Jr., and his estranged wife Vanessa.Evidently, the first son had an affair sometime ago with Aubrey O’Day, a contestant on his father’s Celebrity Apprentice TV show and a singer in a group called Dumblonde. She is believed to have written a bitter song about “DJT” and their breakup.

According to Colbert, Trump ordered Don Junior to “knock it off” when he learned about the affair, which reportedly ended when Vanessa discovered some incriminating text messages. But as the Late Show host points out, you’re in deep, deep trouble when you’re getting marital advice from Donald Trump.

#EndorseThis: Colbert Likens Trump To Your Racist Grandpa

President Trump’s impromptu presser in the Trump Tower lobby in Manhattan on Tuesday — during which he went off-script and explicitly suggested that some of the TIKI torch-wielding white supremacists marching in the weekend’s “Unite the Right” rally in Charlottesville, Virginia, weren’t neo-Nazis —  was “one for the ages,” says Stephen Colbert: “Specifically 1939 to 1945.”

To the president’s claim to “have no doubt” about his both-sides-ism, the Late Show host responded, “There is one thing I no longer have any doubt about: You showed us who you were.”

#EndorseThis: Scaramucci Tells Colbert He Would’ve Fired Bannon

Anthony Scaramucci appeared on the Late Show on Monday, giving host Stephen Colbert the opportunity to grill the departed White House communications director on Oval Office backstabbing. Asked if he thought Chief Strategist Steve Bannon ought to be fired, Scaramucci said, unequivocally, “If it was up to me, he’d be gone.”

And the Bannon hate didn’t end there.

#EndorseThis: Colbert Calmly Predicts, “We’re All Gonna Die”

“I don’t want to be alarmist, but we’re all gonna die,” responded Late Show host Stephen Colbert to the nuclear pissing contest between North Korean leader Kim Jong-un and President Donald Trump. Between rounds of golf on Tuesday, Trump issued an escalatory warning to Jong-un:

North Korea best not make any more threats to the United States. They will be met with fire and fury like the world has never seen… he has been very threatening beyond a normal state. They will be met with fire, fury and frankly power the likes of which this world has never seen before.

Shortly thereafter, Pyongyang announced plans to strike areas around Guam. And thus begins our countdown to doomsday.