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Donald Trump Wants To Build A Border Fence

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Donald Trump Wants To Build A Border Fence

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“We have to build a fence. And it’s gotta be a beauty. Who can build better than Trump? I build! It’s what I do. I build. I build nice fences.”
— Donald Trump, spoken at the Iowa Freedom Summit, January 24, 2015

We need to secure our border! And we need to do it in style. Indeed, who is more suited than The Donald to keep us safe and keep it classy? Our artist’s rendering of what we imagine Trump’s border fence would look like is complete with top-to-bottom gold plating, a promenade of Grecian columns in pink marble, and no fewer than 60 slot machines for every mile. (Trump will require 117,240 slot machines if he wants to defend the entire border with his trademark panache.)

We estimate that completing this wall would almost certainly bankrupt the country, but we would certainly go out in style.

Image: Sam Reisman/National Memo

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Sam Reisman

Sam Reisman is the former managing editor at The National Memo, where he still writes the weekly "This Week In Crazy" column. His writing has appeared in Flavorpill, The Huffington Post, Columbia Daily Spectator, and Bwog. He was the publisher of the 2010 edition of Inside New York, an annual guidebook to the city for students and young professionals.

Since 2011, he has co-curated and hosted Peculiar Streams, a showcase for NYC-based writers, musicians, comedians, and filmmakers. He is a staff writer at Mediaite, and blogs at SamReisman.com.

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5 Comments

  1. FireBaron January 27, 2015

    Maybe we should build a fence to keep his hair out.

    Reply
  2. Plutark Heavensbee January 27, 2015

    Per Article 1, Section 8 of the Constitution, Congress has the power to provide for the common defense of these united states.

    Reply
  3. idamag January 28, 2015

    Go for it, Donny, you should be able to buy lots of linear feet with your money.

    Reply
  4. Sindroid February 3, 2015

    On the irony side: He could hire mexicans and build it for cheap..

    Reply
  5. dpaano February 9, 2015

    I’d like to build a fence around Trump…..what a narcissistic piece of crap!!! How his wife can sleep with him is a real question, but I guess some people will do anything for money!

    Reply

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