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Monday, December 09, 2019 {{ new Date().getDay() }}

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Late Night Roundup: Megyn Kelly’s ‘Surreal’ Six Months

Megyn Kelly sat down with Jimmy Fallon, and talked about the verbal abuse that has been heaped upon her by Donald Trump and his supporters ever since that first Republican debate.

“It’s been sort of a surreal six months,” Megyn said. “Because you know, we never anticipated that anybody would react to the questions in that particular way. But you know, sort of keep your head down and shoulders back, and try to forge forward.”

Trevor said farewell to the latest crop of Republican presidential dropouts: Mike Huckabee, Rand Paul, and Rick Santorum. But while he was at it, Trevor simply had to marvel at Santorum’s awful attempt to explain why he was endorsing Marco Rubio.

Larry Wilmore spoke with a “Jeb Bush campaign adviser” who revealed the true mission of his campaign: To rescue the Bush family name from the disgrace of his brother’s presidency. “Jeb is the family’s blundering, sacrificial lamb. We never wanted him to be president! We just wanted him to go out there and fail so badly, and everyone just ended up feeling sorry for the poor doofus — and by extension, his whole family.”

Late Night Roundup: Trump’s Stages Of Grief

The latest dispute between Donald Trump and Ted Cruz — with The Donald’s allegation that Cruz stole the Iowa caucuses by spreading false rumors that Ben Carson was dropping out — was the talk of the night late shows.

Seth Meyers might have put it best, to explain how Trump went from a graceful concession speech and then to vitriol: Trump is going through the five stages of grief — but in reverse, starting with acceptance but then going immediately downhill.

Conan O’Brien said: “This is my favorite thing in politics — when people lie and cheat to get the evangelical Christian vote.”

And Trevor Noah looked at the absurdity of what Carson was actually doing: Going back to his home in Florida — to get new clothes.

Late Night Roundup: When Donald Trump’s Meds Wear Off

After the phenomenal results of the Iowa caucuses, the late night shows were left wondering: How would Donald Trump take his defeat?

Conan O’Brien had a phone call with “Donald Trump” himself, who revealed the secret behind his seemingly gracious concession speech Monday night: Every single Xanax pill he could find. But then suddenly it all wore off, and we found out what The Donald really thinks: “@#$% Iowa.”

Stephen Colbert highlighted Trump’s declaration that he would return to Iowa, and even buy a farm there. In fact, Stephen discovered, Trump already did something like this — when he performed the theme song to Green Acres at the Emmys.

Larry Wilmore examined some of the zanier elements of the Democratic caucus totals, like the sheer closeness of it — and the winning of some local delegates by coin tosses. And then The Nightly Show correspondent Holly Walker showed the latest tie-breaking method: Arm-wrestling.

The Daily Show reviewed the winners and losers of Iowa — with Jordan Klepper explaining to Trevor Noah how exactly the actual winners Ted Cruz and Hillary Clinton are not being viewed as the winners. The real winners: Third-place Republican Marco Rubio, and second-place Democrat Bernie Sanders.

Jimmy Kimmel observed how the Republican presidential candidates are always talking about God. So he took actual quotes from the candidates — and had them repeated aloud from the mouth of Jesus Christ.

Late Night Roundup: The Big Debate — Donald Trump Vs. Donald Trump

Donald Trump’s absence from the Fox News debate was a topic for the late night comedy shows. Stephen Colbert highlighted the fact that Trump skipped the debate because he alleged that moderator Megyn Kelly was unfair to him: ” After all, why would he want to practice going head-to-head against a strong, blond woman?”

And so, Colbert put on an alternative debate of his own — featuring only Trump: “Tonight it is Donald against Trump — or as they’re known by their celebrity couple name, ‘Dump.'”

On The Daily Show, Jordan Klepper and Hasan Minhaj debated the biggest question right now in the Republican primary: Between Donald Trump and Ted Cruz, who is the slightly less awful one?

Jimmy Kimmel observed the irony of Donald Trump getting endorsed by Jerry Falwell Jr., who even declared that Donald embodied the teachings of Jesus Christ. “It does seem strange that a Christian leader would endorse a candidate who’s kind of a poster child for the Seven Deadly Sins.”